Blackbird's Fall - Jenika Snow Page 0,13

a bit, she thought about what she was going to do with Marius. She didn’t know him from Adam, and he could be dangerous.

This world was only fit for the strongest anymore, men and women willing to do just about anything to survive. He’d been on the road for a while, or so she assumed, and Maya wasn’t sure what lengths he’d gone to make sure he didn’t die or get turned.

Although Sherman seemed okay with him enough, her dog was still wary, that much was clear, and she was glad she had her protector around. Sherman was also good with judging others and if they were perceived threats. But inside, she felt all kinds of mixed things, emotions that confused her, frightened her, and said she needed to get him better so he could be on his way.

On his way.

It was the smart thing to do to have Marius leave when he healed. This was Maya’s place, her sanctuary, and she’d been determined to make it work for the better.

But what if he’s one of the good guys?

“Good guys” was a loose term anymore, and although she was on alert when it came to him, keeping her weapons close, she wouldn’t have any problem killing him if he posed a threat. She had compassion to a point, but the moment she got a bad feeling regarding him, the twinge in the pit of her stomach, she’d take care of him. She couldn’t be soft anymore.

But weren’t you soft taking him in?

“Oh shut up,” she whispered to the voice inside her head. She headed to the kitchen to get Marius something to eat. But doing something as mundane as cooking couldn’t keep her thoughts clean. Maya kept picturing what he looked like when she cut off his shirt to assess his wound.

He was a big man, easily six and a half feet tall, and he was lean, like a swimmer’s build with sinew and muscles. Was he even bigger before the fall? Surely he’d been without proper nutrition for a while. Just thinking of how he might have looked, of how big he probably was, made the very feminine part of her rise up.

But she pushed all of that away. Right now, she couldn’t be thinking about anything remotely sexual. Being with a man, thinking about how it would feel to have him over her, thrusting into her, making her remember what it was like to be a woman, was the least of her worries. She didn’t want to think about what she lost, about what she could lose all over again if she gave herself over to her emotions.

“I don’t need anyone but myself,” she said softly, speaking to herself, but it was a lie. Having someone else was natural for any human to want, but that didn’t mean she could rely on anyone anymore. The world had changed, and not for the better. The only person she could trust was herself.

10

Three days later

Marius pushed himself up in bed and pulled the blankets off. He was wearing a clean shirt and pair of sweats Maya had given him and was feeling his strength return. The last three days, he’d taken it easy, allowed the healing to take place, but he couldn’t just sit in bed anymore. He had to get back in the swing of things, had to walk around, build up his strength that way as well.

He sat on the edge of the bed for a moment and breathed out. For the last several days, Maya had been tending to him, nursing him back to health, and he was in her debt. Without her, he’d have died; that was a fact.

He told her he’d leave once he was better, and he would if that’s what she truly wanted, but he hoped he could show her how helpful he could be, how he could protect her if need be.

Marius wanted her to see that having him around would be beneficial. This was, after all, the kind of place he’d been hoping to come across. It had everything that would ensure them to survive: water, land to grow things, a secure location.

It was also because he wanted Maya, and with each passing day, he found that desire for her growing. She kept her gun close, was on alert, but there were moments when their eyes would lock, when they’d just hold each other’s gazes for a second.

The door opened, and he looked over to see Maya coming in with a