was exhausting. “Fine,” I snapped, pressing speed dial on my cell. “We’re getting pizza.”
“Jamie!”
I ignored her whining and ordered what the fuck I wanted to order, my mood officially obliterated.
But that night as I laid in bed, I heard Jane’s voice in my head.
I think we walk through the halls at high school thinking no one can understand the crap we’ve been through … but almost everyone has a secret. A pain they don’t talk about.
It was a simple but loaded moment. Wise words that would stay with me. They’d make me look beyond myself. Those words would make me a better writer … but more, they would make me a better person.
As I laid there in the silence, I let her words truly sink in. I stopped being so fucking angry at the world that night because I realized there were people out there who’d been through worse shit than me.
I stopped feeling so goddamn alone.
Because of her.
3
Two years later
JANE
Sixteen years old
As hurt flared in terrible heat in my chest, I realized I wasn’t mad that Christopher Cruz had made out with Lorna over me.
It hurt me that Lorna deliberately went after Chris because she knew I had a crush on him.
The rules she’d made up when we were thirteen had been broken so many times, I’d lost count.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew our friendship was partly beautiful, partly toxic. Fifty percent toxic was enough that I should’ve wiped my hands clean of her. Truthfully, I didn’t want to sever our friendship because there were moments when Lorna was sweet and supportive and fiercely protective of me. And I stuck around because I loved Skye like a big sister, and my feelings for her brother Jamie had grown to epic levels. Their three-bedroom house in Glendale had become like a second home to me. If I broke off my friendship with Lorna, I’d lose her brother and sister too.
Not that Jamie and I had much of a relationship.
I loved him from afar.
But Skye … I just loved her.
I was the one nine months ago who forced Jamie to confront Skye when I noticed she was drinking too much. She seemed so sad. Jamie talked to her, and she admitted she was partying too hard. Part of the lifestyle. After their talk, she stopped the parties and drinking. Instead, she worked all the time.
Still, having just a little of Skye’s sunshine in my life was better than nothing at all.
And I lived for my weekly glimpses of Jamie and our casual interactions.
He was eighteen now, more beautiful than ever, and to my relief, he hadn’t left for some far-off college. Jamie won a track-and-field scholarship to the University of Southern California and was in his freshman year there. To Lorna’s dismay, he was majoring in English, which was a travesty to her because, as she said, “He will be an impoverished writer for the rest of his life.”
To my delight, Jamie was staying at home to save money, which meant I still got to see him.
I just dreaded the day he met and fell in love with a smart, sexy college girl.
Jamie would never see me as anything but his little sister’s annoyingly shy best friend. Sometimes I still felt pangs of mortification when I remembered I’d told him I’d been adopted. Not even Lorna knew that. And Jamie had reacted with impatience after I’d offered my secret. The painful moment still made me question my feelings for him. As did his moods. Sometimes he was funny and easy to talk to; other times, he could be kind of a dick.
In fact, it was only about a month ago that Lorna had left me hanging out by their pool to take a call with some college guy she’d met at the mall. I was drying off on a lounger, enjoying the break from school when a shadow fell over me.
Opening my eyes, I found Jamie glaring down at me.
“What are you wearing?”
Confused, I glanced down at the string bikini. “Uh …”
“Nothing. The answer is nothing. Get back in the house and put something on.”
At his high-handedness, my annoyance surged. Frowning, I stood, and he stepped back quickly, as if afraid I was about to bite him. “I’m wearing a bikini,” I replied. As angry as I ever got, I didn’t like shouting. I didn’t see the point in people screaming in each other’s faces. Lorna did enough yelling for the both of us. “I borrowed it from your sister.”