who had longed for the life she’d been promised before her adoptive parents died. How that longing had made her reach for the McKennas. How she’d gotten tangled in their beauty.
I couldn’t keep making decisions based on what I thought they needed or wanted.
It had to come from me.
No matter how much I loved Jamie, or how much I missed Skye.
Yes, I still wanted Foster Steadman to pay for what he’d done, but I couldn’t be a part of hurting people to get that justice. I couldn’t be part of a revenge plot.
And I was scared.
Terrified.
Because if Jamie couldn’t do the right thing, I knew there was a huge possibility I’d have to let him go again.
31
JAMIE
Standing outside Jane’s apartment, I wanted to be mad.
After my initial reaction to what she’d told me about her encounter with Elena Marshall, after I’d stormed out on her, I couldn’t get Jane’s voice out of my head. And I wanted to be pissed that I wasn’t pissed at her.
She was changing the game.
She was reminding me daily of who I used to be.
“She’s estranged from the one person she cares about. She took the money from Steadman and Kramer to protect her daughter. She got shot when that wasn’t part of the deal. Then he threatened her. She has cancer. Debt up to her eyeballs. And when I told her who she helped put away and why you were put away, that woman broke, Jamie … hurting these people in other ways will never be the kind of justice we need.”
“Goddamn you, Jane,” I muttered wearily, letting myself into the apartment with the key she’d given me just that morning. I kicked off my shoes at the door and locked up before wandering through the dark sitting room and into the hall.
I’d tried to sleep in my own bed, thinking the distance would be good. That maybe it would put things back in perspective, make me focus again.
That’s when I realized I’d slept every night this past week. All night. With Jane.
No windows open.
It scared the utter shit out of me to realize Jane Doe could offer me that kind of peace. I wanted it, but I needed to find it without her too. There had to be a happy medium where my ability to move on with my life wasn’t contingent upon Jane’s presence.
I decided I could give her what she asked because I could see deep down that she was right. But I couldn’t give it all up for her. Jane knew who I was when she let me back into her life.
The object of my thoughts and affection was curled up on the bed, facing the opposite wall. Moonlight spilled in through the window where she hadn’t drawn the curtains. The sheets pooled around her waist so I could see the spill of her dark hair across the pillows, her shoulders bare in her tank top.
My fingers itched to touch her.
Taking off my jeans, I saw her stiffen and realized she was awake.
After I pulled off my T-shirt and dropped it on the chair at her dressing table, I climbed into bed beside her. I rolled into her, sliding my arm over her waist, pressing deep into her back until we were as close as we could get.
She’d tensed up as soon as I touched her, and my heart beat a little harder.
I shifted her silky hair and pressed a kiss to her warm skin. “I’ll leave Elena Marshall alone,” I promised into the dark.
Jane melted, pulling away ever so slightly but only to turn in my arms. We relaxed into each other as relief moved through me. She hugged me so tight, burrowing into me.
I kissed the top of her head, wanting to reassure her but be honest at the same time. “I can’t let Foster Steadman get away with everything, Jane. I can’t walk away until he’s behind bars. I don’t care what he does time for. I just want him there.”
For a moment, I held my breath, waiting for her to respond.
Then slowly, she nodded against my chest and tightened her embrace.
Relief saturated me and my eyelids grew heavy with exhaustion.
I might not want to need her as much as I did. It might be dangerous. It might be stupid and self-destructive. But it was what it was.
My soul was connected to hers.
I doubted I could ever find true peace without Jane by my side.
I didn’t wake up the next morning the way I preferred, usually with