She indicated the papers on her desk, covered with the scribbles of Darby and Rood. Four of the eight judges on her High Court had been involved in the suppression, convicting innocent people and people who needed to be silenced. So had Smit, of course, and the Master of Prisons. So had her Minister of Roads and Maps, her Minister of Taxes, various lords, and the head of the Monsean Guard in Monport. So many members of the Monsean Guard had learned to turn a blind eye that it had been impossible for Rood and Darby to list them individually. And then there were the lowest of the low, the criminals and the lost individuals in the city, who'd been paid, or compelled, to carry out the actual acts of violence.
"All right," Giddon said. "That's bad. But this kingdom is full of people, you know. Right now, you feel alone, but you're going to put together a team, a really magnificent team. Did you know that Helda has been making lists all day?"
"Giddon," she said, choking on a slightly hysterical laugh. "I feel alone because I am alone. People keep betraying me and people keep leaving me." And suddenly it was all right to lose control, here for two minutes of being dizzy against Giddon's shoulder, because he was safe, and he wouldn't tell anyone, and he was good at holding on to her with steady, strong arms.
When her breath had calmed, and she could wipe her eyes and nose on the handkerchief he gave her, instead of on his shirt, she thanked him.
"You're welcome," he said. "Tell me what I can do to help you."
"Do you have two hours you could give to me, Giddon? Now?"
Giddon glanced at the clock. "I have three hours, until two o'clock."
"Raffin, Bann, and Po—should I assume they're busy?"
"They are, Lady Queen, but they'll put their work aside for you."
"No, that's all right. Will you get Teddy for me, and Madlen and Hava, and bring all of them here with Helda?"
"Of course," he said.
"And ask Helda to bring her lists, and start thinking up one of your own."
"I know a lot of good Monseans who can be useful to you."
"That's why I called for you," she said. "While I've been bumbling around these last few months making messes, you've been meeting my people and learning things."
"Lady Queen," he said, "be fair to yourself. I've been creating a conspiracy, while you've been the focused target of one. It's easier to plan than to be planned against, trust me. And from now on, that's what you'll be doing."
* * * * *
HIS WORDS WERE comforting. But it was hard to believe them after he'd gone.
He came back with Teddy, Madlen, Hava, and Helda sooner than she expected. Teddy looked a bit harried, and was also rubbing his behind.
"That was fast," Bitterblue said, motioning to the chairs. "Are you all right, Teddy?"
"Lord Giddon put me on a horse, Lady Queen," said Teddy. "I haven't had much call for horses before this."
"Teddy," said Giddon, "I've told you I'm no longer a lord. Everyone seems determined to forget it."
"My bottom is seizing up," said Teddy glumly.
Bitterblue couldn't explain it, but once again, with people here, everything seemed less hopeless. Perhaps it was the reminder of a world outside this castle, where life ticked along and Teddy's bottom seized up, whether Thiel had jumped off a bridge or not.
"Lady Queen," said Helda, "at the end of this conversation, your worries will be gone."
Well, and that was ridiculous. Everything that worried her came rushing back. "There are a thousand things this conversation won't change," she said.
"What I meant, Lady Queen," said Helda more gently, "is that none of us have any doubt that you'll be able to outfit a fine administration."
"Well," said Bitterblue, trying to believe that. "I have some ideas, so we may as well start talking. Madlen and Hava," she said, "I don't expect you to have strong opinions about how my administration should be run, unless, of course, you want to. I've asked you to join us because you're two of the very few people I trust, and because you both know, or have observed, or have worked with, a lot of people. I need people," Bitterblue said. "There's nothing I need more. Any recommendations any of you have are welcome to me.
"Now," she said, trying not to show how shy she was to speak her ideas aloud. "I would