Bitter Kisses (It's Just High School #3) - Thandiwe Mpofu Page 0,129
room.
Cole went back to college. I knew he was missing a lot of fun college freshman stuff what with driving back to Palos Verdes just to check on me and his best friend. But as a first draft pick and star freshman football player, he has to be at school and not nurse us back to life like the wight of that is his responsibility.
I watch all his games online, but I get the sense that he’s been flustered lately, a bit pissed off, but he never fails to FaceTime me everyday.
“Urgh, why do we have to FaceTime all the time? I don’t really feel like being seen,” I had complained on one of our calls. All he does is laugh.
“Yeah, well I need physical evidence that you’re really okay or else I’ll break every fucking road rule just so I can get to you within two hours tops.”
“It’s a six-hour drive,” I deadpan.
“Exactly.”
“You wouldn’t make it.”
“Wanna bet?”
I’ve since learned my lesson about betting against Cole. The guy is just incredible. I loved that he called everyday but in our calls, he never once talks about Julian, not even by accident and it drives me crazy!
Imagine how fucking hard that is when the guy is your best friend?
I tried fishing for information without actually mentioning Julian’s name.
“So, do you have a roommate?”
“Wanna see who’s in my room?” He’d ask, smiling knowingly. Flustered, I just shook my head, frustrated at the none answers he gives me.
Urgh, he’s so tight lipped. I hate it!
Then there’s Liam.
He’s been visiting every single day. He hasn’t missed a day of visiting me since I was discharged from the hospital.
Sometimes, he ditches school in the middle of the day just to spend the day with me in my large bed… well, we watch movies and debate about jelly vs ice-cream and every stupid thing you can think of. It’s always silly stuff, but I can tell something’s eating at him and well, I’m not exactly the poster child for mental health and vitality so, I just go along with it. So long as he’s not asking me about what happened to me.
But even Liam doesn’t even talk about Julian.
It’s as if he’s an only child, estranged from a broken home where the mother is dead and the father has another family on the other side of town.
Sometimes I hear Nicky talking to John, but it’s always short and generic, they don’t talk about a lot. I’m still holding out on asking the nature of their relationship and she hasn’t offered to tell me so that’s that.
Either way though, I’ve told myself not to ask about Julian but fuck, after all this time with nothing from him, I almost broke last night when Liam was here, doing his biology homework in the kitchen. I had to bite my tongue and pretend like Julian doesn’t even exist for me as I don’t for him. Apparently.
It’s pathetic.
So even though time has been punishing me, it’s given me a lot to think about.
I’ve come to face hard truths and one of them was that I lied to my heart.
I mean we all do it at some point or another, lie to our own hearts that something is going to be all right when the truth is you’re fucked.
Or when you tell yourself you don’t need someone just because they did you wrong one too many times but now, you’re struggling to find meaning in anything?
Yeah, you know what I mean.
“You know, your school friends and classmates have been sending you flowers and get well soon cards at the old home,” Mom says as she comes in my new room.
Yeah, we’re no longer at my old home/Courtney’s blackmail lair.
Somewhere between the time I was kidnapped, then rescued by the one person who’s been fighting for me from the moment we met, and my time in the hazy coma, Nicky got a job and then she went apartment hunting and scored this beauty.
It’s a cute two bedroom, with a beautiful kitchen with every appliance imaginable but I know she only got it for the pretty view from the balcony in the living room that overlooks the beach.
This is enough for her and I’m glad. There are still boxes around. When I was out, apparently, she went packed all my stuff and moved it here and for that, I’m grateful. I can’t imagine going to knock on Courtney’s door and seeing her face. It’s just too much.