get a huge amount of money, a house here and a vacation villa in Switzerland.
Wow.
I leave the papers on the table to get a drink of water. I keep the glass in my hand as I pace the room to think.
I feel like I'm being asked to become a surrogate mother. All Ethan wants is my womb to plant his seed in. The difference is that I get to keep the baby. But I still don't get the man.
I get a lot of other things, sure, much more than what surrogate mothers usually get. I'll never have to work - something a lot of mothers would love - though I can still keep my job if I want. I'll be able to travel, maybe eventually with my child in tow. I'll have my own place. In short, all my dreams come true.
Except the one I've realized I really want.
Why doesn't Ethan just marry me? If he's willing to spend on me and he wants a child so badly, wouldn't it be better to just marry me? Wouldn't it be simpler?
I know he doesn't love me, but don't wealthy men sometimes marry women they don't love? Isn't he eventually going to marry a woman his father chooses for him? Is that why he doesn't want to marry me? Maybe I wouldn't make a suitable wife because I don't come from a rich family and don't have a well-known surname. So I'm good enough to have his baby but not to be his wife? I don't understand it.
Whatever the reason, I'm getting a baby contract and not a marriage contract. The question is: Am I willing to settle for it?
I finish my water but hold on to my glass as I lean against the kitchen counter.
At least, if I agree to this contract, I'll have Ethan in my life. It will be better than my current situation because we'll have an unbreakable bond through the child we share. And I'll get to spend time with him outside work. In that sense, I am getting a promotion.
But what if Ethan finds someone else? The contract says I shouldn't have sex with another man, but it doesn't say anything about Ethan not being with another woman. Sure, he'll have sex with me until I give him a child, but what about after? Is he just going to set me aside, keep me in the shadows like a dirty secret while he marries someone else?
The thought is enough to rip my chest open. It's so painful I just want to dig a hole in the ground and crawl into it.
I clutch my chest as I look at the papers on the table with tear-filled eyes.
Ethan said to give him my answer by Monday.
I think I already have it.
~
When Monday comes, I go to work in a black and gray dress and fiery red heels. After Ethan arrives, I step inside his office as I usually do.
"Good morning," he greets me from behind his desk.
"Good morning," I reply, trying not to think about how good he looks in his suit.
Too bad I'll never get to see him out of it.
I clear my throat, make my routine report and give him his schedule.
"And that's all you have for today," I tell him when I'm done.
"And the thing I asked for?"
His eyes go to the envelope I have tucked under my arm. Not that he hasn't been looking at it nearly the entire time since I entered his office.
I place it carefully on his desk. I draw my breath and hold it as I watch him take the document out.
He goes straight to the last page. Then his eyebrows furrow.
"You didn't sign."
"No. I didn't."
Ethan just stares at the page. I fidget with my sleeve as I wait for him to say something. Finally, he lifts his head and looks at me.
"Are you sure about this?" he asks. "You can have more time to think about it if you want."
So he doesn't like my answer. He's giving me time to change my mind. I won't.
"If there's something you don't approve of or something you want added to it..."
"I'm sure," I tell him with my shoulders straight.
He falls silent.
I draw another breath. "Is there anything else?"
Ethan taps his fingers on his desk. Then he shakes his head.
"No. You can go."
Chapter Eighteen
Ethan
Stella can't be serious.
Long after she's given me her answer, I still find myself glancing at the brown envelope on my desk in disbelief.