Billion Dollar Stranger - Stephanie Brother Page 0,43

female population of Atlanta?"

"Everyone deals with things in their way," I say, looking to catch the eye of the waiter so I can pay for the meal and we can get moving. At least as far as I will allow it, the conversation has run its course, and I want out.

21

NICOLE

Aaron is nursing a pretty severe hurt. After our conversation, he seems to withdraw into himself. I don't like to see him so quiet, knowing I'm responsible for dredging up old feelings, but I don't regret asking him about his motivations. I want him to see that his rule is inhibiting him from finding a real connection. He might deny that he wants to find a meaningful relationship, but I can see the fear in his eyes when he talks about it. He's just like me, probably burned by a past relationship and allowing that damage to impact the way he's living his life, and not for the better.

We decide against going up to the top of the Shard, the tallest building in England. The mood has changed, so I suggest going back to my place, mainly so Aaron can collect his things, but when we arrive, he comes inside and stands awkwardly in the hallway.

"Shall I make us tea?" I ask, sensing he doesn't want to leave immediately, despite his driver waiting outside.

"Coffee? Thanks," Aaron says, following me into the kitchen. He seems uncertain, almost uncomfortable in his own skin, so I chatter aimlessly about a project I've been asked to lead at work, and a trip I have planned with my friends Maya and Abbey. When I turn to pass him his tea, he's staring at me intently.

"Are you okay?" I ask, knowing that he isn't, but that he will probably deny his true feelings anyway.

"Yeah, absolutely," Aaron replies, shaking his head a little and forcing a smile onto his lips. I'm filled with tenderness for him; dangerous feelings. For all his harshness and controlling dominance, he is just as vulnerable and human as I am. I rest the cup on the counter and put my hand against his cheek. Aaron inhales deeply and closes his eyes.

When he opens them, his gaze is filled with liquid heat, and before I can react, he's on me, hands in my hair, lips pressed roughly to mine, body forcing us both backward until my back hits the counter hard enough to bruise. He feels desperate in his intensity, mouth moving so deep and hard that I think that I taste blood. Everything is clawing and feverish between us; right and wrong, bitter and sweet, filled with hurt and longing.

I hold his face between my hands, and then grasp his shoulders, feeling the coiled strength in his muscles and the burning heat of his body. He hoists me up by the thighs, carrying me toward my bedroom with fierce haste that tells me so much. This is about more than just sex; otherwise, he wouldn't be breaking his own rule. I've poked at his vulnerabilities and woken up a man who is raw with hurt and angry with me too. I can feel it in the roughness of his touch as he casts me onto the bed and grabs at the waistband of my jeans, pinching the skin of my stomach as he fumbles with the fastenings and pulls them off.

I'm burning with desire for him, lost in my lust and in the darkness of his pain and mine. I want to give him everything he needs to ease his suffering, but I'm terrified too. With every part of my clothing he removes, I feel another layer of self-protection removed. I know that I'll be sore when he's finished with me, between my legs and in my heart. Even knowing all that, I can't find it within myself to deny him or fight against my own desperate longing.

Aaron undresses with the same frenzy, yanking off his sweater and pushing his jeans and underwear down in one, avoiding my eyes that watch his every move. When we are finally both naked, he flips me over with rough hands and climbs onto the bed, straddling my thighs and pressing me down. With my face in the quilt, I can feel the jerkiness of his breathing as he pauses, seconds of helplessness that seem to stall the beats in my chest. Then I feel his hands on my wrists, palms gripping tightly as he pulls them up above my head, laying one on the other.