“Yes. Bad dream.” She’s half asleep, still, the way she often is the few times she wakes up in the night.
I pull back the covers and lift her up. She curls in my bed with a sigh and I smooth a hand over her fluffy hair. She’s asleep in seconds. From experience, I know the dream will be forgotten in the morning.
All in good time, I think. For now, I have all three of my girls under the same roof, and that’s more than enough.
Bella stays over once more that week. Every time she agrees feels like victory, especially since the girls love it, too. They’re very hard to get into bed at a reasonable hour when Bella’s around to play with.
“Wouldn’t a dog be nice around here, Bella?” Haven asks her, glancing in my direction to make sure I’m overhearing. “Wouldn’t you just love one?”
Bella chuckles. It’s not the first time she’s been subjected to Operation Canine. “A dog would be nice,” she says, “but they’re a lot of work.”
Haven’s smile dims. I had to give her props, though. She knows I’ll do a lot to make sure Bella is happy—her question had been strategic.
I put my hand on the back of her head. “Perhaps one day in the future. When you and Evie are older.”
“Everything is always when we’re older.”
“Not everything,” I say. “You used to ask for another sibling. Remember how I said ‘maybe when you’re older’?”
She eyes Bella’s tummy. The girls hadn’t been able to believe there was actually a baby in there until Bella started to show. Now that she does, they understand it, but they don’t really have a solid conception of it.
I’m still having trouble grasping it some days, to be honest.
“Is it a boy or a girl?” she asks Bella. It’s only about the fourteenth time she’s asked.
Bella musses Haven’s hair. She hates it from me, but she tolerates it from Bella. “I still don’t know. Your dad and I have decided not to find out. We won’t know until he or she arrives.”
Haven rolls her eyes. She doesn’t understand the decision. Neither do any of our parents. But what about the gifts? Bella’s mother had asked me, the first time I met her. I don’t know what to get!
But Bella had been firm, and I’d agreed with her. This baby had been a surprise from the beginning.
Let it be a surprise to the very end.
That didn’t mean that Bella didn’t suspect, only that her suspicions changed pretty much weekly. I was getting whiplash from keeping up with the ever-changing pronouns.
“We should head upstairs,” Bella tells Haven. “It’s getting late. We should finish the book we started yesterday.”
Haven slips her newly non-casted hand into Bella’s and pulls her excitedly up the stairs. Her patience seems infinite. I keep waiting for the furrowed brow, the irritation, that she’ll take me aside and say it’s too much. Becoming a first-time mom is enough for anyone—becoming a stepparent at the same time…
But she’s never complained, and I’m in awe.
We’ve just said goodnight when I hear an excited call from her bedroom. “Ethan! Ethan, get in here!”
I’m down the hall and opening the door to her bedroom in seconds, in nothing but my boxers. “Are you okay?”
Bella is sitting on the side of her bed, hair loose, a hand on her stomach. “Come feel this—he’s kicking.”
“He is?” I fall to my knees in front of her, putting my hand softly on her tummy. She grips my wrist and moves it slightly to the left.
“Right here,” she murmurs. “Come on, give your dad a high five…”
I keep my hand pressed close. She’s in one of my T-shirts and her skin is warm through the thin fabric. And then I feel it. A movement, slight but unmistakable.
Bella grins down at me, tears in her eyes. “Wow.”
“Wow,” I echo, putting my other hand on her stomach too. “Do you feel it? Inside?”
She nods. “It’s so distinct, I can’t imagine what it’ll be like when he’s bigger…”
“We’re back to he?”
She looks sheepish. “Yes. I know I change my mind often, but now I’m sure again.”
I can’t hide my smile. “Do you feel okay? It doesn’t hurt?”
“No, not at all.” She puts her hand on top of mine. “He’s stilled now. Maybe he just wanted you here.”
I can’t think of a single intelligent thing to reply to that.
“I know I wanted you here, at least,” Bella continues, a blush on