And I can’t imagine my life without Romy. She’s become such a huge part of it. Part of me.
She’s willing to do this. For me. To make me happy and give me what I’ve always wanted.
I tip my head back and gaze up at the trees above me.
But… is that what I want?
Yes, I want family. And love. And belonging. I want to feel I’m worth loving.
I thought I had to have my family back to have that.
The truth is… I already have all that.
The realization almost sends me to my knees.
I love the Candlers. I belong with them. I’ve never felt I haven’t. And they love me.
I’m the one who thinks I’m not worth loving.
Love for Joe and everyone for doing this for me nearly chokes me, swelling so huge in my chest.
And most of all… love for Romy. I’ve fucked up so bad. I let her think I don’t care about her. I let her end things because I thought it was what was best for me. And yet she’d still do this for me.
Maybe she wants to send me back in time because she hates me so much.
I won’t be one of those girls who hates you. I don’t hate you.
I don’t know how or if I can fix this. But I have to try. I have to at least tell her I’m sorry.
For once in your life, give things a chance.
I keep thinking about what Garrett said the other night. It’s true; I don’t give things a chance with women. I don’t need to dig too deeply to figure out why it is. I’ve always figured I’m not worth loving. I’m responsible for my own family dying; I sure don’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s happiness and letting them down too, possibly in the worst way.
And yet… here I have this woman… Romy. My obsession with her hasn’t faded. If anything, it’s stronger. I want her, all the time. I want to make her happy in every way I possibly can.
Maybe it won’t work out with her, but… maybe it will. Maybe it’ll be the best thing that ever happened to you.
I’m afraid to even think that’s a possibility. Fucking terrified.
But… I have to try. I defended her at the risk of losing my powers, and I’d do it again. She means more to me than keeping my powers. That says it all, right there.
I love her.
“I need your help.”
The Candlers, all sitting in their den, give me sadly expectant looks.
Holy shit. I’m doing this.
I clear my throat. “First of all, I won’t let you send me back in time.”
The lightening of the air in the room is palpable, a sense of relief and excitement.
“Oh, Trace,” Cassie says, her shoulders sagging.
“Why?” Felise asks. “It’s because you don’t want to leave us, right?”
I half smile. “Right.”
They all chuckle.
“It’s true,” I say seriously. “I gave this a lot of thought. I love all of you.” I cough. “I thought I wanted my family back, that I needed that to be loved. But you all showed me…” I stop. Fuck, this is hard.
“We love you, Trace,” Cassie finishes for me. “You are our family.”
I nod, my throat thick. When I can speak, I say, “Yes. And I have to thank you…” I meet Joe’s eyes. “For making me tutor Romy. I knew why you did it, and I was pissed, but… you were right. It was what I needed to restore my faith in magic.”
Joe smiles.
“So thank you. But there’s something I have to tell you that might… upset you.”
I’m greeted with blank looks now.
“Romy and I…” I stop. “I’m in love with her.”
To my complete shock, the women all break into smiles. Cassie murmurs something to Joe, who doesn’t look quite as pleased.
“We’ve actually been seeing each other,” I continue in the interests of full disclosure and honesty. They need to know. “For a few months.”
“Oh my god!” Felise gapes. “And she never said anything!”
“It was because of me. I didn’t want you all to know. But I—”
“What the hell!” Joe shouts, slamming a hand on the end table.
I jump, as does everyone else.
“You and Romy,” he barks.
Ah, fuck. I meet his eyes. “Yes. I know, I know.” I lean forward. “I’m sorry. She’s your daughter. She was off-limits, and I fucked up.”
“And you kept it secret.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Oh. Clearly, he takes this as an insult to Romy. “It was my hang-up,” I say immediately. “Because she’s your daughter, and