Big Man for Christmas - Penny Wylder Page 0,41

the porch. Frankly I’m amazed that they give me any privacy at all, but I’m grateful for it. I don’t think that I can do this with them listening.

Tyler answers on the first ring. “Carley?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my God, baby, I’m so happy to hear your voice.”

Tears fill my eyes because it’s good to hear his voice too. Whether or not he hurt me, I’ve still spent seven years of my life with him. I love him, and I hate that I’m getting emotional over it.

“I am so, so, sorry.”

I clear my throat. “I gathered from your texts.”

“Listen, I am going to make this up to you. I’m twenty minutes away.”

I go still with shock. “From where?”

“From your parents’ house. I’m in an Uber—though let me tell you, he did not want to drive this far. I needed to see you. I need you back in my life, and I’m going to be there soon in order to make everything right. I promise.”

“Okay.”

I hang up without anything more. What do I say to that? Seems like he’s going to be here soon to make me listen anyway. I’m blank again. Without words.

My eyes are on the floor of the porch. The same floor where Casey and I fucked. Where he sang me that love song that he wrote about me after I broke his heart. Oh God, I was still…we weren’t using protection. Casey is still deep inside me right now, and my fiancé is on his way.

Shame rises up in a flush even as I hear the question in my mind. Is he really your fiancé if you gave the ring back? But I can’t fight the embarrassment, and I don’t dare look back toward the house. I know that I’ll find Casey watching me, and I can’t look at him. I can’t.

I walk toward the car and my mother opens the back door for me to slide in. She and Jessica take the front and I pretend that I don’t see the expressions of smug victory on their faces. “Tyler’s on his way,” I say, my own voice sounding like it’s very far away.

“That’s wonderful! I’m so excited to see him.”

He’s met my parents a few times before, and my mother has always been enamored of him. But I’m so twisted up right now that I don’t know how to think or feel.

I want to make it work. I do. We’ve been through so much; I don’t want to just give up on the life I wanted. But the hurt is still there too, and these blossoming new feelings for Casey. What the fuck do I do?

The short ride back to my parents’ house is filled with me wondering whether I should panic or not. And if yes, why am I panicking? What am I going to feel when I see Tyler for the first time? I don’t know.

It’s only minutes after we enter the house again before we hear wheels crunching gravel outside, and I go to the front door and see a large SUV pull up. Tyler gets out, a huge smile on his face.

And I feel…underwhelmed.

He seems smaller. Were his shoulders always that narrow? In my memory they seemed bigger. Was his hair always like that? Caked with so much product that it looks so stiff it could crack? Was his face always…pinched like this? I feel like I’m him seeing in an entirely new light—one that’s not shining with love and my own excuses.

Tyler pays the driver and drops his suitcase on the ground before practically running to me on the porch. The whole family is watching, and he knows it. He sweeps me off my feet and spins me around before setting me down on the ground and kissing my cheek. “I missed you.”

“Hi.”

My dad goes and picks up the suitcase while my mom grins. “We’ve got your room ready for you two. Carley, we’re moving you into the bigger guest room with Tyler.”

Of course she is. Now that I am doing what she wants, she will reward me. Guess it isn’t that big of a deal for the kids to sleep in the small bed after all.

“Are you hungry?” my mom asks Tyler, nearly pulling him into the house. I follow at a slower pace. I still don’t know how to feel. My emotions are both too much and too little at the same time, and I just end up with…nothing.

“I am hungry,” he says. “It was a long trip.”

“Perfect!”

In the dining room, there’s