There were certain moments in life that were just too good not to capture on film. Seeing a plume of smoke rising from my brother’s butt was definitely one of those moments. Luckily, I had my phone in my hand already when I spotted it, and I flipped on the camera even as I warned him about it.
“You know how I’m always telling you that if you don’t slow down, your ass is going to catch fire?” I asked conversationally, tilting my head as I watched him spin toward me in the narrow space between the counter and the fryer.
“Yeah?” Rick frowned, his emerald-green eyes narrowing in suspicion. “What about it?”
I flicked a finger toward his backside, pressing my lips together to keep from laughing. “It looks like it’s finally happened.”
“What—” His head snapped down as he pushed out his butt and craned his neck to get a look at what I was talking about.
Letting out a yelp worthy of a slapstick movie, he started jumping up and down, his hands wildly smacking at his own behind. If he had been in any danger, I would have jumped in to help him instead of pausing for a moment just to take it all in.
As things were, however, it was only the rag hanging out of the back pocket of his jeans that was smoking. It wasn’t even properly on fire. So I took a moment to take it in because holy hell, it was priceless.
Rick James, everybody. There he was. My brother, the great all-American football star, former jock of our high school, and current hometown hero, squealing like a toddler and spanking his own ass. All six-foot-three of pure muscle bouncing as he tried to get at one little rag.
Not able to contain my laughter any longer, I bent over and clutched my stomach as I finally let it all out. Rick glared at me. “Are you going to help me?”
“Relax,” I managed between chuckles. I straightened up, reaching out to pluck the rag from his pocket. “There we go. I literally saved your ass.”
Twisting around, I balled up the rag and dropped it into the industrial sink behind me, then opened the faucet to douse it in water. “See? It wasn’t so bad. Jeez. I wonder if the fire department will still let you volunteer after that.”
His gaze darted down toward his butt again, a relieved breath of laughter coming out of him as his cheeks pinked. “No one will ever know about this.”
“On the contrary,” I said, biting my cheek to fight a grin as I motioned toward the rest of the kitchen. “We were all witnesses to the only embarrassing moment of your entire life. I’ll treasure it forever.”
For the first time, he seemed to remember where we were. Slowly looking around at the two other employees of his restaurant, he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.
“You saw that, huh?”
Marlee, the waitress, nodded as she flashed him a smile. “It’s a good thing Leah was here. There are a few girls in town who would’ve been mighty disappointed if something had happened to that ass.”
Rick’s broad chest puffed out. “That’s because it’s such a fine ass.”
“Nah, it’s just an ass that gets around,” Shaun, the fry cook, joked as he lifted his beefy hand for a high-five from me.
I slapped my palm into his, shrugging at my brother when he rolled his eyes at us. “What? It’s all true. Maybe your ass should behave itself better if it doesn’t want comments to be made about it.”
“Right.” He let out a shout of laughter. “I’m the James sibling who needs to behave better. Aren’t all of you supposed to be working for me? Why do I have to put up with this?”
“Because you’ve created such a great atmosphere in your business that we’re all comfortable enough to speak freely,” I said, giving him my sweetest smile. “Thanks, boss. You’re the best.”
He snorted. “You have to say that, or you’ll be out of a job.”
“I’ll be out of at least four jobs actually.” I started listing them on my fingers. “Let’s see. There’s payroll, bookkeeping, line cook, and cleaner. A few others, too. I’ve also been the bouncer, the marketer, and the new recipe tester.”
“You said you’d fit in wherever I need you,” he said, raising both his shoulders before dropping them again. “Besides, you studied at culinary school but you can’t stand cooking for money. You’re lucky you’re even working in the hospitality industry after