Between You & Me - By Marisa Calin Page 0,45
stricken as Kate clasps your shoulder and makes a hasty exit:
KATE
See ya.
We stare at each other.
ME
Shouldn’t you catch up? Sounds like you have something fun planned.
A snide tone hampers my plan to be mature. I give an artificial sigh.
Well, I’ll be glad to head home and get a good night’s sleep before tomorrow. Is that the best idea, to go out tonight? See you bright and early.
Surprise gone, now you just look offended.
YOU
Phyre, I was talking about you.
Huh?
I’d been telling Kate I wanted to do something for you before your first night … But we don’t have to if you think it’s stupid. I just thought it would be nice, because this thing’s been so important to you.
Three-minute pause.
ME
Oh.
The genius strikes again.
I thought you were making plans with Kate.
The only thing worse than eavesdropping is eavesdropping badly and misunderstanding. You shake your head.
ME
You said “we.”
YOU
We, you and me.
ME
When you’re talking to someone, we usually means we.
I gesture with big circling arms.
YOU
When I say we, I usually mean us.
ME
That’s not normal!
YOU
You know, you can be pretty hard to please.
Silence.
ME
I only said it was stupid because I thought you hadn’t included me.
Your sigh is genuine. Not my best moment. We walk slowly toward the door.
ME
Is there any chance I can make up for this one on a quicker schedule? Because I’d really like to be talking by tomorrow night.
YOU
Admitting you’re crazy is a good first step.
ME
First step. Check.
I check it off with a finger in the air. There’s no coming back from this in a hurry, so I give your hand a squeeze and let you go.
FIRST NIGHT. HAIR AND MAKEUP. CURTAIN UP: FIFTY MINUTES.
Eyes closed, I sit in costume in front of the mirror. I can sense people rushing past. Their voices seem hollow and far away. My heart has been beating out of my chest all day but now that evening is here, I’m almost calm. I can feel on my eyelids the light touch of Viv, who is in charge of hair and makeup, sweeping on eye shadow. I sit still, playing with the tiny buttons at the wrists of my gloves. We always have a purpose, I think to myself. I wanted to be Lily to impress Mia. Tonight, I want to be Lily for me. I feel the tug of a curling iron and smell hair spray. Viv is in front of me now, blocking the bulbs around the mirror from making the inside of my eyelids glow. When I sense her step away, I open my eyes and the room comes rushing back. I look at my reflection for the first time. But it’s not me I see, it’s Lily. I take a deep breath. I wonder if this really will all seem unimportant some day. It feels important today.
DRESSING ROOM. CURTAIN UP: THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES.
I walk back into the dressing room to warm up and my heart leaps to see a bunch of red daisies on the table. There’s a note. I pick it up. Knock ’em dead. I hear someone in the hall behind me and instinctively scrunch the note into a ball. A rumor about notes from Mia is the last thing I need. I glance over my shoulder. The door doesn’t open and I look back at the crumpled paper in my hand. I try instantly to flatten out the crumple but it’s not the same. The flowers will die! The note I could have kept.
BACKSTAGE. CURTAIN UP: THIRTY MINUTES.
I am peeking through the curtains at the side of the stage to see the audience filing in. I see Mia at the theater door, surrounded by a group of friends including the girl from the coffee shop. Mr. Handsome has his hand on the small of her back, a girl is clasping her arm. And Mia is talking animatedly. She seems different. She tips her head back, laughing, I think, and there is that pain in my chest. Humiliation! Tonight it seems clearer than ever: I’m a tiny part of her life. I see only a piece of who she is. So much exists just in my head, and I know that, but tonight of all nights it hurts to remember. She has her own set of approvals to seek, and they have nothing to do with me. I close my eyes, trying to shake the painful embarrassment that starts in my stomach and wells up through my chest to my face. Come on, Phyre. Forget about her. There, up at the lighting