Between You & Me - By Marisa Calin Page 0,39

to sink or float. Hey, you say, with less enthusiasm. I sit up:

ME

What’s wrong?

Check the school website, you say. Check Got Gossip. So I do, fingers shaking. I click on the header, apprehension flooding my body. My breath stops in my throat and I feel sick. The page shows a photograph, of me. A photograph of this afternoon. Mia on Phyre? I can barely bring myself to read on.

A certain ex-hot-lister seen here wrapped up in private drama with her very own teacher: new flame or is Phyre just carrying a torch for her? Can the heat be sustained? Check back for more.

I stare at the screen, wondering whether I’ll die so I won’t have to go to school tomorrow. For a second, it seems like nothing will ever be the same. We’re standing so close in the photograph, in the shadow of the trees, my hand reaching for her. She’s just a shape in the foreground but it’s as if the camera has captured every ounce of my longing. Reddening with anger and embarrassment, I fight a sudden pang of isolation. Can they really do that? I’ve been so careful not to give anything away and in the single moment that I let it show, snap.

SCHOOL GATE. THE NEXT MORNING.

I couldn’t sleep. I lay awake for most of the night wondering if I could ever come to school again. My half-awake, half-asleep dreams played out the day ahead, with people staring and pointing, and now I have to go through it all for real. From the gate, the path to the steps has never looked so long. I dressed in black this morning, resigned. People take strength from other people being targets; it means they’re not at the bottom of the heap. I’ve been staring at the path for a full minute before I notice that you’re beside me. I smile a halfhearted “thanks for waiting”—you could have gone ahead to avoid being seen with me. People don’t look too menacing from here but I’m sure that when I start to weave between groups, they’ll notice me.

I take a falsely confident step toward school and the wave of fear I experience cements my decision to hide behind the gate until everyone has started to move inside. We stand side by side in silence as the figures flock through the doors into school. I take a deep breath, and we make our move. Despite everything, it looks like you’ve decided to try to make me laugh. You’re crouching beside the wall and have signaled, spy style, that you’ll move out first. Sure enough, imaginary gun drawn, you’ve just darted through the gate and disappeared. After a moment, you appear around the wall and beckon me to follow, taking cover behind one of the big maples. With my life at an end, good luck getting even a smile out of me. But I have to make it through the day somehow so I reach you at the tree and we peer around it to see the crowd at the door thinning. You’re standing straight as an arrow against the tree and you tug me behind it when I stray. I carefully take the two fingers that you were using for pretend firepower and press them to my temple. You frown and brush them gently against my cheek instead but just for a heartbeat. We stand quite still, without speaking, as if spy rules prohibit it. I think for a minute you might say something about this mess but then you look toward school and motion the all clear.

SCHOOL HALLWAY. TEN MINUTES LATER.

We’re running the gauntlet. There was no way to avoid the hallways without going into class late, and then everyone would really stare. So far, it’s like my fitful dreams—people staring with varying degrees of subtlety—and someone just whistled! Even my nightmares didn’t account for whistling. Now completely unable to pretend it’s my imagination, I panic and want to run. You sense my flight instinct and catch me by the arm so I can’t. Thanks to you, I make it to homeroom with tingling fingers and no blood below the elbow but without the added humiliation of being the girl who ran through school.

HOMEROOM. SOON AFTER.

I’m curled in a chair in homeroom. First period starts any minute but I can’t bring myself to go. I shouldn’t have come to school at all. You kneel down in front of me.

YOU

Hey, Phyre Hazard. Don’t let them bring you down.

I stare. You start