continued, she felt a slight sensation of guilt. He had been trying to apologize, but, at that moment, she had wanted to hear no part of it.
True, Ambrose had looked at her approvingly once they were out of sight, even whispering to her that she had responded splendidly, but she had perhaps behaved a little too coldly towards him.
Would it really have been so bad to just let him apologize? I could have told him that I forgive him but that I don’t want to see him again. If I don’t let him apologize, he is stubborn enough to persist, which means he will carry on trying to confront me…
She was tempted to ask Ambrose about it, but the knowledge there were others around them who would not appreciate a whispered conversation prevented her from doing so. She could tell he noticed her preoccupation, because he reached over and held her hand for the remainder of the opera.
Georgiana felt some of the tension in her ease at the friendly gesture, and she was then able to focus on the performance. Then, near the end of the play, when the women so quickly forgave their men for tricking them, she felt a tug on her heart. Somehow it made her think of Walter.
“How are you?” was the first thing Ambrose asked the moment it was over.
“Hmm … I was just thinking…”
“I hope it wasn’t about Baron Bartlett. He is not worth so much of your thoughts.”
Slowly she stood up from where she had been sitting, and admitted, “Actually, I was. I was thinking that, perhaps, I should have let him apologize earlier. Now he will no doubt try again some other time.”
“I understand that…” he reluctantly admitted, as he began to walk with her out of the theater. “However, I really don’t think you should let him apologize. He is only doing it to make himself feel better. It is not as if his apology is going to help you in any way. He will give up eventually.”
She considered this point of view while they walked, and Ambrose seemed content to let her think without pressing the issue. He had raised a good point … it was Walter’s fault for believing a false rumor in the first place.
Still, she still felt she probably would let him apologize the next time he tried to do so. Even though he was completely to blame, there would then be less tension between them.
As they neared the Irvington carriage, she spotted Walter talking pleasantly with Clarissa. Seeing him bow and smile at Miss Rutherford sent a pang through Georgiana. A pang which she was shocked to recognize as jealousy.
Why should I be jealous to see him with someone else? It is not as though there is any way I would accept him back after all he has put me through…
Her thoughts were interrupted when Ambrose caught her attention to help her inside the carriage. However, the moment they were settled in and the carriage started to move, she found herself merely sitting in stunned silence.
Going back in her thoughts to the times when she had seen him, she was forced to acknowledge, while the main feeling had been pain, there had also been an element of jealousy each time she had seen him with Clarissa.
It was ridiculous! Even if she did forgive him, he was obviously no longer interested in her. There was no chance of them ever being what they had once used to be to each other. So, she must simply ignore the feeling…
Chapter 19
Georgiana sighed the next day, as she took a seat to allow Lucy to style her hair for the evening. Normally, she would be ready by now, but that day was a special occasion. Her second cousin, Lady Jane, was having her coming out ball.
Though not related to her by blood, she was related to her through her aunt Adelaide. Adelaide’s cousin was the Marchioness of Dalwater, and Jane was her daughter, which made her a rather distant relative, but a relative, nevertheless.
Georgiana had only met her once or twice, and recalled she had been pleasant enough, though they had little in common. Still, it was an important occasion, which required more dressing up than usual, which was why getting prepared to attend the ball was taking an exceptionally long time that day.
“I should be done soon, Miss Georgiana,” Lucy said, startling her out of her thoughts.
“I’m sorry. I am not doing well at sitting still today, am I?”