“I think you misjudge her,” was the quick reply, as his mother reached for one of his hands and squeezed it. “I think you should at least give Clarissa a chance. She really is a sweet girl. You seem to forget, many marriages are made for comfort rather than for love, but that doesn’t mean those marriages are at all unhappy. I truly think you and Miss Rutherford could be happy together if you gave it a chance.”
Walter felt doubtful but did not feel up to objecting. Part of him felt what she had pointed out was true. He had to admit he felt he could be content with Miss Rutherford. Or, at least, he could have been content with her—if it were not for Georgiana…
It took several minutes before he noticed his mother was waiting for him to say something. There was little doubt in his mind as to what it was, and he was mildly surprised she didn’t voice her question aloud.
“Just give me a little time. I will try to apologize to Georgiana at the first opportunity. After that … I will continue to pay attention to Miss Rutherford. In the meantime, I will use the excuse of business for my not calling on her.”
Seeing the moderate satisfaction at his reply, the carriage was then silent once again. Not a word more was spoken, even when they arrived home and he assisted his mother out of the carriage.
“I will be going out again in a little while, to a small dinner with a friend. I will not ask you to come, but I will be using the carriage.”
Walter gave no response other than a nod of his head in acknowledgement, and then went directly to his study to be alone.
He had no thoughts of working. Too much was on his mind to even consider it. He couldn’t even decide if he was less uncomfortable sitting or pacing since any position seemed equally uneasy.
When he heard the carriage departing again, he decided he needed to get out of the house himself. There was no planned event taking place that evening, so if he went to Huxley’s and indulged himself in a few drinks, he could return home and sleep it off.
However, he didn’t want to ride the London streets at night on horseback, should he decide to stay longer, though he had no intention of drinking so much that staying upright on a horse would present a challenge. Therefore, he quickly arranged for a carriage.
Soon enough, he was in Huxley’s and sitting at one of the tables, his emotions swinging back and forth between hope and complete despair about Georgiana and whether she would agree to hear his apology.
He inwardly cursed the terrible rumor, as well as his own flaws, which had caused him to lose the love of his life. There was no doubt in his mind he would never love again as he had loved her.
Suddenly, his train of thought was interrupted. “Why, Walter? Fancy seeing you here again, lad.”
Walter turned to see his friend Henry taking a seat at his table. However, he was unable to properly smile to greet him, simply turning back to his glass and taking another drink.
“Oh, so it has been one of those days, has it?” Henry asked as he dropped his smile. “Do you want to tell me about it or distract yourself?”
After a moment’s consideration, he decided on the latter. “I think I need to place a little distance between me and my… problem. If you can even call it a problem. It is more like a colossal, ridiculous mistake which makes me doubt my own common sense.”
“Right, then. I can help with that. Just sitting here with a drink might be dulling your pain a little, but it is not going to really get your mind onto something else. So, come on,” Henry said, rising from the table himself.
“And where are we going? I truly don’t feel hitting anything will help on this occasion. I don’t want to hit anyone but myself at the moment.”
“Well, there are other options. Be my partner in a game or two of whist. That will force your mind to concentrate on something else,” he replied and led the way towards the whist tables.
“I don’t think I will make a very good partner just now. In fact, I can assure you we will lose.”