up their pace. In. Out. In. Out. I felt him almost all the way to my stomach, and I rode him, moving my hips over his hand.
I grasped his arm, holding him still, and I moved faster. Harder.
Until a rush exploded in me.
I came quietly, but it left me boneless, and I couldn’t move. My entire body twitched from the after effects. I could barely raise my head.
A low moan slipped out, and Kai’s arms tightened around me. He pressed a kiss to my mouth, then my jaw, my chin, my neck before he just held me.
I could feel his cock under my thighs.
I reached for him, but he tensed. “No.” But he sounded reluctant. He moved me off of him, slowly. His hands lingered, running down my arms, and when I could stand, he stepped in behind to hug me. His lips found the curve between my neck and shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around me.
I knew neither of us wanted to go back out there.
I wanted to stay in this tent. It felt good in here. I wanted this Kai with me at all times—loving, caring, tender. The man who could make me lose my bearings and bring me so much pleasure I almost saw fucking stars, but out there was a different Kai. He would have to be cold, detached, ruthless.
A shiver went down my spine.
That was my Kai too, but he scared me.
He sighed, nuzzling my cheek before lifting his head. “We have to go. I have to go. We have some time. You can stay in here, if you want. For a few more minutes.”
“When are you taking him?”
“Soon.”
I didn’t know how it was going to go down, and as Kai slipped out after squeezing my hand, everything in me yearned to pull him back in.
I yearned to keep him with me in this pocket of time, because when I left, there was no going back.
I’d come with the intention of hurting my father. I’d made my decision earlier. I was going to stick with it, but almost a lifetime could separate me from deciding that and now doing it. I was on the precipice. And if I failed, Kai would be there. Hell. Kai would do it anyway. He was half doing it for me; I knew that. And I wouldn’t really have to participate, but I was here.
In my old life, you had a moral decision in times like this.
If you see what’s going to happen and stand aside, you’re just as guilty. To be innocent, you must step in, you must try to help stop it. I was not going to do that this time. So I was a part of it all.
I was guilty. It didn’t matter if I pulled the trigger or not. His blood would be on me. But there was more going on. Here I was with Kai. If I went with this, I was choosing him.
But that decision had already been made too.
Hadn’t it?
We still hadn’t finished our argument. I’d said those words to him, calling him on loving me and not knowing how to handle it. His answer had been to leave.
He left. Then I left. Then he made me climax so fucking hard I couldn’t stand afterward. So I still had some things to sort out.
Grabbing a chair, I sank down onto it.
That’s when I heard him. My father’s voice from outside.
He was laughing, boasting. It was funny how it hadn’t changed, even since I was twelve. That sound still made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He made my stomach roll over in disgust just as he always had.
When I’d heard him bark orders in the house. When something made him furious at a meal—if there wasn’t enough salt or he suddenly decided we needed ketchup even though he’d banned it, saying it was “beneath his palate.” The way he’d sounded when he had colleagues over, how he spoke to my mother in a way that forced her to be nice, be polite, and not say a damn word. She’d better fucking smile or she wouldn’t be able to walk the next day.
From his beating.
His laugh rolled over me, and I felt nausea moving up my throat. It was the same laugh he’d used when I’d heard him bring a woman to the house. He’d taken her to the basement, and I knew there were others. My mom knew too.