Things were no different in high school when she had followed Travis around the halls, hiding behind her books. He always had his arm around at least one of the cute little cheerleaders, and Lily knew without a shadow of a doubt that she had been completely invisible to him. Utterly unimportant.
But still, she couldn’t keep from wanting him. As crazy, as irrational as her lust for Travis was, she had never been able to let go of it. And now that she had been given a taste, she wanted him for every meal.
She was as pathetic as she had always been.
As a teenager, stolen glances were all she could get. Why did she think it would be any different now?
Sure, she had come apart in his arms. Yes, his body over hers had felt so right. But that didn’t mean that things were any different than they had been in high school.
Luke’s plan from their Sunday brunch popped back into her head. She tried to accept her role in all of it, but she was having no better luck now than she had during brunch.
“Travis is lucky to have even gotten to be with you once, especially after the way he’s treated you.
You are an incredible woman, and it’s up to you to show him that he’s going to need to treat you really well if he wants you to be with him ever again. And this is how you are going to do it: You are going to rip him apart, then put him back together. But only after he earns it”
It wasn’t that she couldn’t see the truth in what Luke was saying. Playing hard to get was likely the best plan of attack with a womanizer like Travis. But it was hard for her to think about ways to make Travis chase her when she didn’t feel worthy of him.
Travis was beautiful, brilliant, confident.
She would never call herself beautiful. Or brilliant. And certainly not confident. Thank God she had splurged on the new red suit at the mall after brunch with Luke. If she had been wearing one of her regular shapeless pantsuits she would have felt even more inferior.
It was crazy for Luke to tell her that she needed to break down Travis’s confidence. She had treated him like a sex god on Saturday night—after all, he had been a sex god, an orgasm-generating machine—and she was supposed to recant all that? She sincerely doubted that Travis would buy her act.
They entered the most lavish master bathroom that Lily had ever seen outside of a glossy magazine spread for Architectural Digest and she sighed.
“Is something wrong, Lily?” Travis asked, his voice as smooth as butter.
She forced a bright smile and tried to tamp down on the voice in her heart that was telling her she was lucky to have stolen so much as a kiss from this man. Don’t forget, she coached herself, he dropped you from his life for no reason and has looked right through you for twenty years. You should he demanding an apology for how unworthy he tries to make you feel, not mooning over him.
“Everything’s great. Wonderful in fact.” Running her fingers over the cool blue tiles that lined the enormous Jacuzzi tub, she said, “You did an amazing job with this house, Travis.”
Travis grinned, and Lily had a moment’s surprise at the fact that her words of praise obviously pleased him. She hadn’t thought that her opinion would matter to him.
Was Luke right about his twin brother? Was Travis’s ego more fragile than it seemed? Was his heart not a bulletproof, steel-lined fortress?
Because even though she’d had a major crush on Travis since they were ten, she had never fooled herself into thinking that she could ever be a part of his life.
They were so different. She was soft and couldn’t help but look for the good in everyone. He was all harsh, unforgiving angles. She was quiet, afraid to speak up because she knew people would laugh at her dumb ideas. He was a storm that erupted in a hundred different ways, assailing any- and everything.
Looking up into his eyes, she saw the storm beginning anew. Taking a step back from him, warring with her own anticipation, Lily said, “I should probably start doing some research this afternoon. After turning in my resignation at Barker’s, of course.”
Quitting her safe job would be the next-riskiest thing she had ever done—right behind being a sexy queen on the runway and seducing Travis, of course—but it made her smile to think about telling Albert that she quit and was never, ever going to buy a single thing for her clients in his store.
Yeah right, like she’d ever be able to stand up to Albert, even though he deserved it. She really was letting her imagination get the best of her. Although Lily wished she had enough guts to tell Albert what she thought of him, she knew she’d meekly hand him a letter of resignation and let him browbeat her. Oh well, at least a man who had treated her like dirt wouldn’t get any commissions from her.
Travis moved toward her, shaking her out of her thoughts. She started, feeling like a gazelle being stalked by some big wild thing. He must have seen the panic in her eyes at being so close to him in such a sensuous bathroom, because instead of cornering her he ran a hand through his jet-black hair, and said,
“I’d like you to see the property before we go.”
“Why?” Lily asked, increasingly suspicious of his motives. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to touch her, of course, it was in fact just the opposite.
She desperately wanted him to touch her. And she was sure that she wasn’t going to be able to pull off the ruse of being unaffected by his touch like Luke had told her to do. If Travis so much as ran one finger down the side of her face, she was going to start pleading with him to take her right there, right then, heedless of the consequences.
Travis gave her a coaxing smile. “Just like you said when we walked in, I’ve always felt that it’s important for a designer to see how the inside of the house interacts with the environment surrounding it.”
Lily narrowed her eyes, trying to read between the lines on Travis’s face, but it was completely, professionally blank. Suddenly she felt foolish. Here he was giving her the biggest opportunity in her career, and she was being distrustful and apprehensive about it.
What a fool she was. He hadn’t even mentioned their night together. Why did she think he would ever want to touch her again?