She read his surprise at her abrupt statement loud and clear. It wasn't what she planned to say, but now that she had, she couldn't hide from the truth of it.
“I like fucking you.”
Oh. Wow.
That hurt.
But what had she expected him to say? Oh no, Janica. I absolutely adore you.
As if.
“I loved fucking you too,” she said softly, working like hell to mask her careening emotions. But she couldn't. She could feel her cheeks falling, her mouth starting to shake despite her attempts at control. “So that's all this is?”
A deep, dark anguish flashed across his face. And then, instead of answering, instead of breaking her heart the rest of the way, instead of grinding it completely to dust, he moved closer, caressed her cheek with one of his large hands.
She blinked up at Luke, knowing she should leave, telling herself to leave, but then his mouth was on hers and it was such a gentle, sweet kiss that she simply melted into him.
Thank god. She didn't have to leave him.
* * *
He wasn't alone.
Janica had dropped everything in her life to come here to be with him. She'd given her body to him, then given him her heart too, and even after he'd walked out on her the night before without one kind word, she'd gone to the hospital to find him anyway.
He didn't need a flashing billboard to see that she how much she cared about him.
And in return, he was hurting her. Over and over again, he was lashing out at her, making sure to let her know that she was nothing but a fuck toy to him.
When the truth was she was anything but.
When the truth was that he didn't want her to go.
When the truth was that even after only ten minutes together in the cabin, he knew if Janica left, he'd feel the echoes of her everywhere he looked for the next four weeks.
Maybe even for the rest of his life.
The power of these realizations had him reeling.
Her mouth was soft beneath his. Last night their kisses had been rough, caught up in the delirium of their passion. Now, he had the time to learn the curve of her lips, the sweep of her tongue, to find out how much she liked it when he dipped into the corners where her lips met.
Barely pulling back from her mouth, he whispered, “I like you. So much more than you know.”
Now she was the one kissing him. “Then take me back to bed, Luke.”
He wasn't going to lie, he had enjoyed playing out the dominant-submissive fantasy last night, but those roles weren't who either of them really were. If he could have, he would have told her how sorry he was, but his emotions were still too tangled up, too mangled for the words to come.
He'd have to tell her another way.
He lightly stroked her short, silky hair. “You're beautiful.”
“So are you.”
The sun was streaming into the cabin's windows as they held each other, and then, she was stepping out of his arms, reaching around to undo the clasp at the back of her bra.
It fell to the ground and he finally got to see her beautiful breasts in the light of day.
He was temporarily paralyzed by his desire for her. A small smile playing on her lips, she hooked her thumbs into the sides of her panties and slowly shimmied them off.