Except, a small voice in her head whispered, quite possibly, her heart.
Sixty seconds later, he was gone.
* * *
Luke went home, showered, then headed straight back to the hospital.
One of his colleagues had to need a break, had to have a shift he could fill. As long as he stayed busy he could keep himself from going there, back to Janica's apartment, back to the moment when she'd glared at him and said, You're leaving.
What she'd really meant was, Fuck you.
Even after his shower, he swore he could scent her, as if her beautiful essence had slipped past his skin, all the way into his cells. His cock thickened beneath his scrubs and he worked like hell to douse his growing hard-on, which was completely inappropriate for a doctor to be sporting. But he had to work even harder to crush that twinge in his gut that told him he'd been a complete asshole.
And that she'd deserved a hell of a lot better of a goodbye than he'd given her.
Especially since he hadn't said goodbye at all. He'd just left like a fucking coward.
Trying to focus his vision on the staffing board, he was about to call Bonnie to tell her not to bother coming in, when Eileen Jones, the hospital’s head psychiatrist said, “Good morning, Luke. You're just the person I wanted to see. Would you mind coming into my office for a quick chat?”
He was barely in her door when she hit him with, “You’re too tired. You need to take some time off.”
“I'm fine,” he shot back. Quickly realizing he needed to back off the defensive or she'd definitely think something was up, he sat down in an open chair and put his hands behind his head.
She didn't look at all convinced. “When’s the last time you slept?”
“I spent last night in bed.”
Which was true. He just hadn't been sleeping.
And, sweet Lord, Janica had been hot. Better than anything he could have ever imagined.
She'd been giving, too. Selfless in her passion.
And so damn sweet, he hadn't ever wanted to let her go.
Eileen sighed loudly. “That may well be the case, and I hate having to do this, Luke, but someone has to unplug you from the operating table, because you’re clearly not going to do it yourself.”
Luke stood up to argue his case, but Eileen waved him back down. “I know you’re going to say that they need you—”
“They do.”
“—and that you feel fine—”
“I do. I’m fine, Eileen.” He held out his hands. “They’re not shaking. I’m not seeing double. Or hallucinating. I don’t have any signs of sleep deprivation. I’ve been working this way for years, and I’m responsible for saving more lives than anyone in this hospital, so I appreciate your concern but—”
She cut him off. “I know what happened last night, that Robert had to take over for you. And before you start beating yourself up over it, I want you to know I've seen it happen to all of the best doctors. So I'm not at all concerned about your patients, Luke. I’m concerned about you. You need some time off. To rejuvenate. To have some fun.” Looking down at the papers on her desk she said, “You’ll be taking the next four weeks off.”
Four weeks? Fuck, no. How was he supposed to make it through the next twenty-four hours without his job to fall back on? Between what had happened in the ER and what had happened with Janica, he was as screwed in the head – and the heart - as he'd ever been.
“One week,” he countered.
“We don’t want you to set foot in the hospital for four weeks, Luke,” she said firmly, the handed him his walking papers.
The words swam before him. Mental health break.
They thought he was going nuts.
And given that he'd spent the night trying to fuck his sister-in-law's brains out, but making love to her instead, maybe he had.