Been There Done That (Leffersbee #1) - Hope Ellis Page 0,7
was surprised by how hard it was to answer that question. I bit my lip, attempting to calm my riotous thoughts. Did I want to see Nick? Spend time with him, even under the guise of supporting a vendor, or even entertaining a potential donor?
No.
Did I want answers?
Yes. I wish I didn’t care at all, but I wanted answers. But only on my terms.
“We had a relationship years ago.” I tried to sound dismissive, annoyed rather than flustered and shades of heartbroken. “One day he walked away. But I don’t care if we meet.” That wasn’t precisely a lie.
“You don’t care?”
I didn’t meet her gaze. “I don’t care, but I am irritated that he pulled strings behind the scenes, forcing the issue. It should’ve been for me to decide when or whether we meet.”
She nodded. Dying sunlight lit the glinting gray strands of her bob. “I agree, but there are some things none of us can run from. And your Mr. Rossi seems hell-bent on a reckoning.”
“Yeah. He does.” I curled my fingers into a fist. “That doesn’t mean he’s going to get what he wants. I’m almost inclined to just say no and let him continue on his merry way.”
“I don’t know, Zora.” Erin ran an agitated hand over her brow. “You might want to take time to talk to him. See what he has to say. I hate to sound mercenary, but the man is richer than God and suggesting he’ll invest some of that wealth in the university. Development is salivating over the potential of a strategic relationship like this. He doesn’t need us, not really. For him, the advantage is getting to pilot his app. If he pumps a sizable donation into this place in the process . . .” She shrugged. “God knows we need it.” She rubbed the worry lines on her brow, her gaze moving to mine. “Have you heard anything about the NIH grant?”
I sighed and aimed my thumb at the computer. “Yep. Just before you all stampeded into my office. The answer is a big fat no.”
Erin shook her head, looking distraught. “Your research staff won’t have jobs anymore if something doesn’t hit soon.”
“I know. You don’t need to remind me. Trust me, it’s getting to be all I think about. I had to tell my community health coordinator that I didn’t have many more new leads on funding. It’s a terrible feeling, being responsible for someone’s livelihood and coming up empty. I hate feeling helpless.”
It was the same kind of helplessness I’d felt when I took a semester off school for my mother’s breast cancer diagnosis. But this situation, I could do something about.
I would do something about it.
“In that case, it’s worth hearing him out. Seeing what he has to say.”
“Is that the usual speech you always give faculty members you’re about pimp out?”
She made a dismayed sound. “Zora!”
“Well, that is what you’re suggesting!” Poor Erin. She probably hadn’t bet on this roller coaster of an interaction either, and God knew I probably seemed bitchy and unreasonable to her. It wasn’t her fault that I was living my own personal hell in a very professional setting.
“I’m just saying,” she insisted, “what would it hurt to have a conversation with him?”
“Erin, that money would not go anywhere worthwhile, like to the med school or the cancer program. You know how this place works. The money would go to buy new uniforms for our piss poor football team, or to—”
“He wants to know more about your research, what you do. It aligns perfectly with what we’re asking his software and staff clinicians to do for us, and how you’ve trained our docs in the past.”
“Well, I already know about him. And while there was a time when I would’ve wanted to see him again, after this . . . I just don’t know. I’ve been screwed once. I don’t need to be screwed professionally by him, too.”
Erin laughed. “You’re smart as hell, Zora. And you’re not a quitter. He has no idea of the woman you are today. What makes you so certain you won’t come out of this on top?”
Suddenly, I decided I didn’t want to spend any more time with New Nick than I had to. It’d be easier to hide, to carry on with my lukewarm life in peace. But the problem was bigger than me. I had to consider the loss our research staff when all the grants expired in three months. There was no guarantee I’d