Been There Done That (Leffersbee #1) - Hope Ellis Page 0,118
place would I have in his life when all this was over?
“Zora?”
“I’m just getting a glass.”
“There’s glasses here, on the table.”
“Yeah, well. I want another one. Taller. For water.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
I sighed, clenched the exterior cabinet pull in one hand. “I guess I just forgot.”
“Forgot what?”
I pulled a glass down, steeled my nerves before turning.
And found Nick right behind me, so close I had no choice but to back against the counter.
His arms came around me, caged me in. “What’s wrong, baby?”
I huffed. “Why do you call me that now?”
Dark swaths of hair swept across his forehead and almost obscured the view of those green eyes I loved so much. I reached up, pushed it back.
“You need a haircut.”
He caught my arm, pressed a kiss against the sensitive skin right below my wrist. “I call you ‘baby’ because you’re my baby. Mine. A few minutes ago, you held me inside you and told me I was yours. And now you’ve got that scared look in your eyes. So I need to know what’s going on in your head.”
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him, couldn’t help but respond to the intimacy of his tone.
“Tell me.”
“I forgot.”
“Forgot what?”
“That you’re rich. Really rich. Rich, rich.”
He frowned. “That’s a bad thing?”
I shrugged. “I guess I just forgot is all. It’s been a while since we were in New York. I’m used to seeing you here. I guess I forgot who you are, what you do, what you have.”
His forehead lowered to mine. “You want me to give it all away?”
I let out a short laugh. “No, I—”
“Zora, I’ve worked for this moment, with you in my arms, for a long time. I’m not giving you up for anything. The money’s not who I am, baby. I think you already know that. Tell me what’s really bothering you.”
I lifted a shoulder, fought against the fear stirring in my belly. “You have an entire life, a way of being. Full of balls and events and expectations, all the things I’m no good at. You’re in Green Valley for now, but you have to go back to that life.”
He was quiet, but I wasn’t fooled. I’d known him long enough to know his mind was busy behind the guileless expression.
“I’ve loved waking up to you every morning and Sir Duke. But—”
“But what?”
“My life is a mess right now. I barely know if I’m coming or going. With tenure and funding up in the air—”
He slid a hand behind my neck, wove his fingers into my thick curls. “There’s only one question and one answer that matters here. Do you want me? Us? What we are?”
“Yes,” I answered readily, immediately.
“That’s all that matters. We will figure it out.”
“But your travel—”
“I’ll figure it out. I’ve got places all over. Though, maybe this isn’t the time to talk about my international real estate.” He grinned at me, then sobered, his gaze moving over my face. “If it comes through—tenure, funding—would you want to stay here?”
It was a damn good question.
Things were far different than they’d been when I’d accepted my position at the university and started conducting research at Knoxville Community Hospital. My mother was out of the woods. She’d be okay; I didn’t have to live in close proximity to be assured of her well-being. I didn’t feel the same inclination, the same pressure, to make a place for myself among my family anymore, to prove anything. I was okay with me, with the choices I’d made to get me to this point.
I was less certain about the career I’d spent so much time carving out, and my path forward. But suddenly, I felt . . . open to change.
“I don’t know.” It was the truth. “I honestly don’t know what I’m doing. I think I’m open to exploring something else, for my sake. But I’m also not willing to just walk away from what I’ve built before I know how it all shakes out. Not without seeing it through.”
His nodded, those bright eyes boring into mine. I didn’t realize I was biting my lower lip until his thumb gently pulled it away from the torture of my teeth. “So, you want to wait? See how it shakes out?”
I sighed. I was eager to begin the future I hadn’t even known I needed and yet . . . “Yes. I have to. It’s one thing if I decide to change course. It’s another thing if I fail. If I’m pushed out.”