Beauty Tempts the Beast (Sins for All Seasons #6) - Lorraine Heath Page 0,50
undertaking. I was certain matters would soon be set right, and he would be vindicated. All would return to what it had been. In addition, I was betrothed, you see, to the Earl of Chadbourne, and he had not visited to determine how I fared, and it gave me pause. None of my friends called upon us, and when I called upon them, they were not home. But my mother was insistent, and I couldn’t let her go alone. Only later did I realize the stress was affecting her judgment. She had begun to live in a world where her husband was not accused of treason. But I did not know it at the time, and so I went with her.
“After we were announced, as we descended the stairs, Chadbourne made his way to the foot of them. Gossipmongers—even the articles in the society sheets—made a point of recounting the joy that wreathed my face, describing my expression as that of a princess who believed a knight had ridden up to defend her honor. To my utter chagrin later, at the time I did very much feel that way. He would save me. Only when I reached him, he turned his back on me, which resulted in everyone else doing the same. He felt the need to make a public statement regarding his loyalty to the Crown and England and my unsuitability as the daughter of a traitor to become his wife.”
An immediate loathing for the man ratcheted through him. He would seek him out, he would find him, he would destroy him.
“Mother swooned, and it was left to the servants to haul her out, rather unceremoniously, I’m afraid. She never recovered, never again spoke, never left her bed, simply withered away like a flower plucked from the soil and left without water. A few hours after they hanged Father, she passed. Couldn’t bear the mortification, I suppose. Which was all for the good because the following day they came and took everything from us. That alone would have killed her.”
She met his gaze, and he could see that it had cost her to reveal so much, and yet so much more remained to be divulged. “Tell me about Chadbourne.”
Her smile was self-deprecating. “He caught my attention during my first Season when I was all of nineteen and in no hurry to be spoken for. I enjoyed the dancing, the flirtation, the being sought after. He didn’t court me seriously until my second. During my third Season he asked for my hand.”
“And you hope to regain his attentions by becoming a courtesan?”
Her laugh was caustic, reflected the pain she still harbored. “Good God, no. But I wouldn’t mind being so sought after that he would want me, and I could rebuff him. I’d find some satisfaction in that.” She tossed back the scotch, wheezed, coughed as her eyes watered. “It’s suddenly so frightfully cold in here.”
Setting aside the glass, she stood, wrapped her arms around herself, and walked to the hearth. Cautiously, he joined her there and rested his forearm against the mantel.
“I used to take fires for granted,” she said softly. “They were simply always lit, always burning. I barely paid any heed to the servants who saw to the task.”
“We seldom appreciate what we have until we no longer have it.”
She looked so bloody miserable standing there, and he despised himself because he’d forced her to dredge up the memories, because his curiosity wanted to turn over every stone of her life in order to fully understand her, even as he knew he had no right to know anything at all. “Did you love him?”
Her nod was shallow, barely perceptible, but he felt it like a punch to the gut.
“More fool I,” she said flatly, and he knew the blackguard’s betrayal had cut her more deeply than her father’s, had stolen more from her than her father, Society, or the Crown. He’d stripped her of hopes and dreams. His actions may have driven her to Beast when she’d thought his proposition involved becoming his mistress.
“He was the fool.”
Before he could consider all the ramifications, before he could remind himself of the tenet he’d always held sacred, never broken, he lowered his mouth to hers.
It was a mistake. In the same manner that eating too much cake was a mistake. There was certain to be an ache in his gut and regret later, but while the sugary goodness existed, he longed for nothing else.