Beauty Tempts the Beast (Sins for All Seasons #6) - Lorraine Heath Page 0,122
I took no precautions to ensure I didn’t get you with child.”
“I did.”
Those two words crushed his chest because her being with child was his last hope to have her.
Her cheeks flushed. “I assumed you had Jewel teach me how to avoid pregnancy for a reason.”
He nodded. “Only abstinence is a hundred percent. If you find yourself with child, you’re to send word. Inside the packet, you’ll find my parents’ address in London and Scotland. You can always reach me through them.”
“I know you don’t understand that my decision is truly for the best, but a time will come when you will.”
“Perhaps you have the right of it. But what I can tell you at this very moment, with absolute certainty, is that I will never stop loving you.”
Her face crumpled, and that he could not bear to watch. “Goodbye, Thea.”
He strode out of the room, snatched up his bag, and headed off into the unknown.
Chapter 29
Scotland
February 1874
Beast stood at the large window in the front parlor and gazed out at the rain cascading from the heavens.
He’d been at the Scottish estate a little over a month, and during that time, he’d met aunts, uncles, and cousins. He’d galloped over verdant hills of green. Acres and acres and acres of it. So much land. One day it would be his. His father had taken him to a loch, and they’d fished. An abundance of activities to catch up on. An entire youth’s worth.
He’d gone for a walk in the forest and caught sight of a stag. He’d thought of Robin and the delight the sight would have brought the lad.
Thank goodness he no longer got lost in this massive residence that was more castle than manor. Lamps and candles provided the light. When dusk arrived, he used a match from the match safe his mum had given him to light the lamp in his bedchamber to ward off the darkness. He didn’t fear the absence of light. It was the pain of Thea’s absence he was striving to ward off and having a devil of a time doing. In spite of all he was attaining, he’d lost what he most treasured, and when he thought of the future, it seemed bleak indeed.
Especially after reading the missive from her that had arrived that morning. She had been succinct and to the point. She was not with child.
Pulling his watch from his waistcoat pocket, he flipped open the cover and looked down at her portrait. He wondered if a time would come when the ache in his chest wouldn’t increase with the reminder of her. Not that he needed the reminder. She was never far from his thoughts. Everything he saw or experienced he wanted to show her, share with her. Even the rain.
He wanted her opinions on matters. Was his cousin Angus as much of an arse as Beast thought he was? Did Beast look ridiculous in a kilt? He’d worn it only once. It was going to take some getting used to.
Would she like living here? Would she marry him if he could promise her that they would never return to London, would avoid Society, wouldn’t need it? Although even as he had the thought, he knew she would argue that the children would need London and Society in order to be accepted. They couldn’t hide.
With a sigh, he snapped his watch closed, tucked it away.
“You seem to spend a good bit of time checking the hour,” a soft voice said, and he closed his eyes.
It wasn’t the first time he’d been unaware of his mother watching him, that he’d been so lost in thought he hadn’t heard her arrive. The servant who saw to her needs, helped her navigate the residence, kept that contraption of hers well oiled so it seldom made a creak or a moan. Opening his eyes, he glanced back over his shoulder at her, gave her a small smile. It was an odd thing, but after such a short time, he felt as though she’d always been in his life. “It seems to rain often in Scotland.”
“Often enough.” She moved herself closer. “Tell me about the watch.”
“I stole it . . . when I was a lad of eight.”
She seemed neither surprised nor horrified. “But it’s not the hour you’re checking.”
So maybe she hadn’t been asking about the origins of the timepiece. Maybe he’d known that, had thought if he shocked her, she wouldn’t ask anything else about it.