Beauty In Her Madness (Winterland Tale #3) - Stacey Marie Brown Page 0,70

What if I was always on medication and seeing things? For the rest of my…our lives?”

Scott watched me, his chest moving in and out, his terrified expression at my question cracking truth against my heart—the realization neither of us wanted to face.

The answer was no.

Riiinngg.

His cell sprang to life in my hands, my regard automatically going down to look at the screen.

Leanne’s name flashed back at me.

Acid slithered down my throat as another realization hit me, becoming so clear I wondered how long I had pretended not to notice. Kept the truth in a box. Strangely I felt no jealousy or anger, only sadness.

Trying to hold back more tears, I handed the phone to Scott. “Answer. I’m sure she’s worried about you.”

Scott’s brow furrowed as he took the mobile back, seeing who was calling. He peered back up at me, confusion crossing his face, laced with panic and grief.

A sad smile wobbled on mine, my eyes expressing my sincerity, telling him what neither of us could say out loud yet.

“Answer it.” I flicked my chin at his cell.

He stirred on his feet, his hand running through his hair, but he picked it up. “Hey, Lea.” He tried to keep the affection from his voice, but I knew him too well. That was one thing with us—we had known each other far too long to ever lie to the other.

I could hear her voice through the phone, but not her words.

“We’re fine. Yeah, she’s here.” His eyes wouldn’t meet mine. “Yeah…yeah…okay…thanks. I’ll talk to you later.” He hit the off button, shoving it into his pocket.

“She was checking on you. Since you just ran out…” He cleared the anger from his throat. “Also wanted to tell me Doug was out of the hospital and back home on bed rest. Had to get ten stitches in his face.”

The guy was a douchebag, but I still cringed at the idea that he got hurt. Guilt and self-hate smothered around me.

We stayed quiet for a few beats before Scott sighed, his shoulders slumping. “What do we do here, Dinah?”

Stabs cut into my heart, tears building behind my eyes again. “I think you know.”

His gaze met mine, his features neutral, like he was afraid to ask or acknowledge.

“You are not happy,” I croaked. “You haven’t been in a long time.”

“What? Of course—”

“No, Scott, you aren’t. The people we’ve been since moving in together? Those people are not happy. You used to be so carefree and happy—smiling and silly. I hate I took that from you.”

“You didn’t take anything from me.” He stepped up to me. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Then why?”

“Because we’re not in love anymore.”

“What?” He jolted back as though I slapped him.

“We’ve been together so long we’ve become each other’s habit. We’re twenty and act forty. We could easily find ourselves with a house, kids, and wondering if we were ever meant for more than our plan. Will one day we resent and hate each other or be so routine we don’t even notice we haven’t been happy in years? That we no longer have sex?” Like now.

My heart ached, but I knew what I was doing was right for both of us. This was a time Scott’s presence would deter me, not help. I needed to stand on my own.

“So you want me to be the one to walk out? Be the asshole who leaves his girlfriend at a time like this? You know that’s not who I am. I can’t leave you.”

“I know. It’s why I’m the one asking you to go.” My words faltered a little, emotion clogging my throat. “I think we need a little space to figure out what we want. I need to get healthy, figure what’s going on with me. And I think you need to do the same.”

“Dinah…” A tear fell from Scott’s eye. “I can’t leave you. You’re my best friend.” Best friends. It was what we were; the lover part of our relationship had slipped away without us even noticing.

“I will be fine. I will call my parents. I promise.” I let the tears flow again. “What I’ve done tonight, to you… If you lose your job or that position, I will never forgive myself.” I lifted my head, firming up my voice. “Please, Scott.”

A hiccupped noise came from his throat. It was a full minute before I saw his head nod. “Yeah.”

Silently, he grabbed a bag, stuffing a few items into it while I watched. “I’ll stay with Marc for a