Beauty In Her Madness (Winterland Tale #3) - Stacey Marie Brown Page 0,61

his face away from my touch, his jaw rolling.

I dropped my hand, feeling tears well in my eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes roaming everywhere but to mine.

I blinked rapidly, my head nodding.

He helped me up, his jaw locking as he moved me back to my car. The crowd behind dispersed, but I could hear their chatter, the gossip bouncing between them.

“Scott…”

“Not right now, Dinah.” His tone was tight as he opened the passenger side of the car, indicating he would be driving me home. He climbed in, slamming the door. For a moment he just sat there, the silence thick with tension. Peering at his profile, I saw him grind his teeth back and forth, his hand gripping and releasing the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry.” The need to apologize for hurting him, for being crazy, pushed through my lips.

“What happened, Dinah?” He stared out the window, aloof. Scared.

“I don’t know.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

Running my hands through my hair, I glanced out the side window.

“Did you have another episode?” he asked.

My throat so thick all I could do was nod.

He exhaled at my response.

“What do you see when you’re going through one?”

It was so hard to explain, or maybe it was just hard to admit. “A monster. One from my childhood.”

“Like what your sister saw? Gremlins?”

“No.” I shook my head.

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t know.”

He hit his head back into the headrest. “I’m really trying to understand here. I’m trying to grasp how my girlfriend went from perfectly normal to this.”

“This?” I snapped back. “You mean crazy?”

Dropping his face in his hands, he let out another breath.

“I don’t know any more than you do about how or why this is happening.” I twisted to face him more. “Believe me, I don’t want any of this. I don’t want to see things that feel so real I can’t tell the difference between it and reality.”

“See, I can’t comprehend that. How can it feel so real if it’s happening in your head? Why can’t you tell the difference?”

I had no answer to that.

We stayed quiet for a minute before he spoke again. “You scared the shit out of me, Di. I came to surprise you, take you to dinner, hoping to spend a little time together, and I find you on the ground thrashing and screaming bloody murder.” He gripped the steering wheel again. “My economics professor saw…”

“I’m sorry. Next time I’ll check the audience before I go insane.”

“Dinah, come on.” He sighed, exhaustion and pain in his expression. “Don’t make me the bad guy here. I’m trying to understand.”

“I know.” I blinked back my shame. “I’m sorry. I am sorry you have to go through this too.”

“Have you been taking your pills?”

“Yes, but she said they might take a while to get into my system.”

“So, you called for an appointment?”

“Yeah, she can fit me in tomorrow.”

“We have the holiday dinner with my company tomorrow night.”

“Right.”

“We don’t have to go.”

“No, you have to.” I shook my head, knowing how important this was to him. A position was opening up, with more pay, and I knew Scott was hoping to schmooze and get on his boss’s radar. “I go to see Dr. Bell straight after my morning shift at the cottage. I’ll be home by five.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it will be fun.” It was a total lie, but it was what couples did—went to things you didn’t want to for the other.

He nodded, starting the car, the drive home completely silent.

Getting out of the car, Scott waited for me to come around, his attention dropping to the hood of my VW rabbit.

“Did someone key your car?”

A bullet of fear shot through my heart as I watched his finger trace the thick line cutting through the white paint.

“Damn, they really scratched the hell out of your paint.” He shook his head, turning for the building. “What an asshole. Who does that?”

My eyes were locked on the scrape trailing down my hood like a calling card, my skin flushing hot and cold.

A monster does—a real one.

Chapter 18

“Dinah?” Dr. Bell articulated my name, drawing my attention from the snow falling outside the window, the sky growing darker every second. Soft, light flakes kissed the ground, covering the dry, dead earth underneath in beauty.

The morning and afternoon at work had been filled with kids crying, screaming, running around with sticky hands and puking. I wanted nothing more than to go home, take a shower, and sleep. Not put on a dress and pretend to be normal and happy