Beauty In Her Madness (Winterland Tale #3) - Stacey Marie Brown Page 0,30

a few grains, my breath quickening. No. It wasn’t possible. Looking closer at my legs, I noticed my tights were shredded and what looked like healed bite marks covered my legs.

Holy fudge pudding…

“No. No. No.” I gripped the counter, squeezing my lids closed. “This is bonkers. There is a perfectly good explanation for this.”

Like I was going mad.

Peering back at myself, I watched my chest rise and fall with my heavy breathing. Was this how Alice felt? Sane in her insanity? That everything was crumbling and changing, everyone saying you needed help, but you didn’t feel crazy? Nothing felt more real or true? The more normal it all seemed, the more I sensed myself falling down the rabbit hole.

I gritted my teeth, and my knuckles turned white. I would not allow this. My life was good. I had a great boyfriend, an apartment, school, a job, a few friends. Things were going exactly how I wanted them to. Sidelining to Crazytown was not part of the plan.

Block it out. Ignore. Everything will go back to normal.

Compartmentalize.

You can fight this.

Stuffing it all back into a box in my mind, I undressed, throwing my tights away. I stepped into the shower, letting the water wash away the tendrils sweeping around in the back of my mind, trying to seep in.

I tightened the reins on my thoughts, not letting my mind go anywhere without my permission, keeping it locked on the goal. Eyes forward and mind busy.

I would do anything not to lose my hold on reality.

Whatever it took…

Over the next week, I lost myself in work and school, though my software design and coding classes weren’t holding my attention as much as I wanted them to.

“Doesn’t look like the assignment, Dinah,” my instructor muttered behind me, leaning over my desk.

“Professor Cogsworth…” I jolted, shaking out of my trance.

He smiled softly, his eyes going from my computer screen to the pad of paper next to me. “I can’t say you should quit and become an artist, but the concept is interesting. Makes you feel as if you are right there. Ever think of getting into video game design?” He flicked his chin at the drawings on my paper.

Following his gaze, my eyes widened in shock. He was right. My skill at drawing sucked, but I couldn’t deny what was there.

Hundreds of chipmunks in trees, their cute faces pulled in evil sneers, blood dripping off their teeth, looked on the verge of attacking.

I did not remember sketching the creations on my paper.

Just like your sister.

Fear and guilt cascaded through my veins, flaming my cheeks. “I’m sorry, professor.”

“Please, Dinah. You are the hardest worker I’ve ever had. Never tardy or late on an assignment. You are a model student.” He rubbed his balding head and down through his French fork beard. Sometimes I swear it twitched and moved similar to the hands of a clock. He was short and round and dressed like he lived in the 1900s. But he was so kind and gentle. Sadly, I had heard a lot of people dub him Mr. Walrus because of his appearance. Cruel as it was, I also couldn’t deny he did resemble the moniker.

“It’s all right to give yourself a break every now and then.” He patted my arm. “But at least appear as if you are working. If you start slipping, the rest of the class has no hope. You will lose all control and…” He leaned in closer, his voice sounding different, his image blurring. “Go mad. But let me say, all the best ones do.”

“Holy hot cocoa,” I gasped, ramming back into my seat. For a second, I saw a snowman in front of me, but when I blinked, he was gone, and Mr. Cogsworth was staring at me, his expression filled with concern.

“Are you all right?”

“Ummm.” A hot poker sizzled between my ribs. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” I forced a smile on my face.

His lids narrowed. “You sure? You look flushed, my dear.”

“What did you call me?”

“I didn’t call you anything.” His thick brows bristled together. “You sure you are okay?”

I touched my clammy forehead, heat billowing off my skin.

“Why don’t you get some air? Take off early.” Cogsworth’s voice was filled with empathy and kindness. “Plenty of time to work on that later.”

“Yes, thank you.” I gathered my stuff, heading out the door. The crisp early evening air snapped in my lungs, and I inhaled deeply, the cold feeling delicious against my hot skin. The campus lights were already on;