The Beauty of Darkness - Mary E. Pearson Page 0,55

had no air. I couldn’t force words to my tongue. Instead, a blur whirled in my head.

There’s a port we want in Morrighan and a few miles of hills.

The rest is yours.

The prince has grand dreams.

Is it worth it to have any other kind?

… I never thought it was right.

Do you think the prince knew?

He knew.

I turned and looked at Rafe. Another secret? His lips were half parted, and he looked like he’d been punched in the gut—or had been caught.

The anger burning at my temples drained away. My stomach floated loosely in my chest.

Rafe reached out for me. “Lia, let me explain. That’s not how—”

I stepped back, avoiding his reach, and turned to look at everyone else. Tavish and Orrin shifted uncomfortably but met my stare; Jeb looked away. Their expressions confirmed I was a pawn in a game that was so old it was practically a joke.

The floor seemed to bob. I tried to find footing in this truth that rolled through the room like an unwelcome tide. I hugged my arms to my waist, every limb suddenly feeling awkward and out of place. I skimmed their gazes, felt the shake of my head in a distant, detached way. “How very disappointing it must have been for Dalbreck to learn I was a branded criminal in Morrighan. Being worthless to my own kingdom made me a worthless game piece to yours as well. My apologies.” The wobble in my voice only added to my humiliation. It seemed I was a grave disappointment to every kingdom on the continent.

Kaden looked at me, his expression morose, as if he knew he’d gone too far. When I turned to leave, Rafe tried to stop me, but I jerked free, shaking my head, unable to speak, my throat swollen with shame as I ran out the door.

I rushed across the courtyard, the ground a sickening blur beneath me. He knew.

I had been so worried about the sham my parents were perpetrating, when all along, it had mattered not one whit to Dalbreck if I had the gift at all. My worth to them lay elsewhere. Leverage. The word cut deeply. I’d heard it so many times, the cabinet uttering it with a smug smile in regard to one lesser kingdom or another, one county lord or another, all the ways they used tactical pressure to get something, couching it in a word that appeared so diplomatic and practical, but was laced with force and threat. It is the way these things are done, my father had said, trying to explain it. A little pressure and they pay attention.

“Lia—”

I felt a tug at my elbow and whirled, yanking it loose. I didn’t give Rafe a chance to say more. “How dare you!” I screamed, my anger returned full force.

His shoulders squared. “If you’d let me—”

“How dare you lay guilt on me for one stupid kiss, when all along you had this sham of epic proportions on your conscience!”

“It wasn’t—”

“You and your conniving kingdom turned my entire life upside down over a port! A port!”

“You aren’t getting the—”

“Oh, believe me, I get it! I get everything now! I—”

“Stop cutting me off!” he yelled. The steel of his eyes sparked with warning. “The least you can do is give me a chance to speak! We’re going to talk!”

* * *

We sat on the outpost wall. He had led me there, maybe wanting a place where no one would hear us, maybe trying to make amends knowing I had been turned away from there earlier. He had dismissed the guards in our section of the wall, saying we would keep watch. They had raised their eyebrows. The king keeping watch? But it was as natural for Rafe as his arm was on my shoulder now. Our legs dangled over the wall’s edge. How far we had come. Now he joined me on precarious ledges.

He hadn’t denied it or tried to justify it, but he had promised the alliance wasn’t only about the port, and by the time he was done speaking, I believed him. It was about a lot of things, not the least of which was foolish pride and the need to reclaim a part of their history and what had once belonged to the exiled prince. But there was a practical side to their motivations as well. Dalbreck too had heard the reports of the growing Vendan population, and they’d had more incidents with barbarian patrols. Maintaining the Dalbreck army was the largest expense