The Beauty of Darkness - Mary E. Pearson Page 0,41

she had told me about, the Song of Venda. The one that mentioned the name Jezelia. I lay back and sank into the soft mattress, looking at words that made no sense to me. How could she be certain of what they said? She wasn’t a scholar. I remembered her expression back in the Sanctum when she tried to explain the importance of it to me.

Maybe it isn’t chance that I’m here.

A chill had crept up my neck when she said those words. I’d hated the way Venda—woman or kingdom—was playing on her fears, but I remembered the crowds too, and the way they grew each day. There was something unnatural about it, something that didn’t feel right to me, something that even the Komizar couldn’t control.

I laid the book aside. It was behind us now. The Sanctum, Venda, everything. Including Griz’s ridiculous notion of her being his queen. We’d be on our way to Dalbreck soon. I cursed the fact that we couldn’t leave right away. The colonel couldn’t spare an escort large enough to please Sven, but he said he expected a rotation of troops to arrive in a few days and we could leave safely with the departing troops. In the meantime, he’d ordered the falconer to send a swift trio of Valsprey to Falworth with news of my safety and my imminent return.

He said that would also give him time to update me on matters at court. Prepare me—those were the warning words I saw in his eyes—even if he didn’t say them. My return to court was not going to be easy. I knew that. I was still trying to absorb the knowledge that my worst fears had been realized. Both my mother and father were dead, and they had died not knowing the fate of their only son. Guilt riddled through me. But they knew I loved them. They knew that much.

We agreed to wait until tomorrow after I was rested to discuss the details of my parents’ deaths and everything that had transpired since. The cabinet would be furious when they learned where I had been and the risks I had taken. It was going to take some work to regain their confidences.

But Lia was alive, and I would do it all again if I had to. Sven and the others understood. Once the cabinet met her, they would understand too.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

KADEN

I followed the guards as if I didn’t know where I was going, but I remembered every inch of the Marabella outpost—especially where the privies and showers were. As we walked past the gate that led to the paddocks, I saw they had added another watchtower to the back paddock wall. It had been their only blind spot. A very unlikely one because of the steep, rocky access and the river below, but a blind spot nonetheless, and it had allowed me to gain entrance.

Lia had asked me once how many people I had killed. Too many to remember them all, but this one I remembered.

There.

I eyed the privy on the end. A fitting place for him to die.

“Hold up,” Tavish said.

I stopped while the guards went into a supply hut.

I was sure they wouldn’t be offering me a shower and fresh clothes if they knew I had slit the throat of one of their commanders. That was two years ago. I couldn’t remember exactly what his sins had been, just that many Vendans had died under his command and that was reason enough for the Komizar to send me.

This is for Eben, I had told him before I slashed the blade, though I didn’t know if he had anything to do with killing Eben’s parents. Now I wished I knew. I wished I could remember all the reasons.

That was a lifetime ago, Kaden. We were both different people then.

“Something wrong?” Tavish asked.

The soldiers had returned with supplies and were waiting for me to follow.

“No,” I answered. “Nothing’s wrong.”

We continued on to the showers, and I was grateful that the water was warm. It wasn’t like the vagabond hot springs that had practically boiled the grime away, but it was easier on sore muscles than the ice water of the Sanctum. It felt good to wash off the blood of men who had once been my comrades, those I had ridden with only months ago—yet today I had helped kill them.

“Looks like Griz is going to be all right.”

I kept my head under the water, pretending I didn’t hear Tavish. Was he