The Beauty of Darkness - Mary E. Pearson Page 0,34

bleed into the ground and disappear.

But the trying never ended. I stiffened my spine and set my jaw in good royal form. I wedged my voice into something firm and even, and I heard my mother speaking, though it was my lips that moved. “I’m sure you all have a lot of questions, which I hope we can answer later once we’ve cleaned up a bit.”

A thin, whittled woman with severe cheekbones stepped forward, elbowing the colonel aside. Her raven hair was streaked with silver and pulled back in an unforgiving bun. She addressed Rafe. “Quarters will be prepared for Her Highness as well. In the meantime, she can retire to my chamber, and the other ladies and I will attend her needs.”

She eyed me sideways, her thin lips drawn in a tight, tawny line.

I didn’t want to go. I’d rather have cleaned up at the soldiers’ showers and borrowed another pair of trousers, but Rafe thanked her, and I was escorted away with the wave of a hand.

As I left, I heard Rafe order that the guards posted at the gate be doubled, and rotations at the watchtowers shortened so soldiers were always fresh. He didn’t say why, but I knew it was because he feared more Rahtan could still be out there. After so many weeks of looking over our shoulders, I wondered if we could ever stop watching. Would peace ever be ours again?

Deliberate efforts were made to step back and avoid touching me. Because of my filth or position? I wasn’t sure, but as I followed this thin, angled woman, the crowd parted, leaving me wide berth. The woman identified herself as Madam Rathbone. I looked back over my shoulder, but the crowd had already seamed back together and Rafe was gone from my view.

* * *

I was offered a stool in Madam Rathbone’s sitting room while we waited for a bath to be drawn. Two other ladies who had introduced themselves as Vilah and Adeline had disappeared into their own quarters, and began returning with assorted clothes, trying to find something suitable for me to wear. It was quiet and awkward as they shuffled around me, laying garments over chairs and tables, eyeing them for size rather than holding them up to me. That would require more intimacy, and I was still filthy. Their stares were too cautious, and I was too tired to try to make small talk.

Madam Rathbone sat across from me on a wide tufted settee. She hadn’t taken her eyes off me. “You have blood on you,” she finally said.

“By the gods, she has blood all over her!” Adeline snapped.

Vilah, who was probably only a few years older than me, asked, “What in the heavens did they do to her?”

I stared down at my arms and my blood-soaked chest, then reached up and felt the crackling roughness of dried blood on my face. So much Vendan blood. I closed my eyes. All I could think of was Aster. The blood all seemed to be hers.

“Are you injured, child?”

I looked up at Madam Rathbone. There was a tenderness in her voice that caught me off guard, and a painful lump lodged in my throat.

“Yes, but not recently. This is someone else’s blood.”

The three women exchanged glances, and Madam Rathbone muttered a long string of hot curses. She noted the slight drop of my jaw, and her brows rose. “Certainly traveling with soldiers you’ve heard far worse.”

No. Not really. I hadn’t heard many of those words since my days playing cards in back rooms with my brothers.

She wrinkled her nose. “Let’s get all this off of you,” she said. “The bath should be ready by now.” She led me into a connecting room. This was apparently an officer’s bungalow, small and squarely laid out, a sitting room, sleeping chamber, and a grooming chamber. The walls were smooth white stucco, elegantly adorned with tapestries. A soldier set a last bucket of steaming rinse water next to the copper tub and quickly exited through another door. Madam Rathbone dropped a bar across it.

“We can help you bathe or leave you in privacy. Which would you prefer?”

I stared at her, not sure myself what I wanted.

“We’ll stay,” she said.

* * *

I cried. I couldn’t explain it. It was not me. But I was many things now that I had never been before. Slow tears rolled down my face as they peeled off clothes, as they unlaced my boots and pulled them from my feet, as they