The Beauty of Darkness - Mary E. Pearson Page 0,112

she had never been here. By the time she arrived in Civica, the cottage had lost some of its magic for me and my brothers and we rarely came anymore. Besides, such wanderings were off limits, and Pauline followed the protocol of the queen’s court to the letter—well, almost to the letter, until she met Mikael.

Where was she? Had Natiya misunderstood, or spoken to the wrong person? Maybe the rain had delayed her? But it was only a light rain, and we were used to that in Civica.

Today when I returned to my room, my mind had still been reeling with my late-night revelation. The Viceregent had seemed our best possibility of someone to trust in the cabinet. I had tried to test for his truthfulness, and everything he had said seemed genuine—even his claim about deep regrets. Was it possible he had changed in the eleven years since he threw Kaden out? Eleven years was a long time. I had changed in far less. So had Kaden. The Viceregent was already in a high position of power, second in command to my father. What more would he have to gain?

I was so occupied with these thoughts that Natiya had had to grab my arms and shake them, then repeat her news. She claimed she’d found Pauline. She said Pauline’s head was bowed and covered so she couldn’t see her hair, but she knew a pregnant belly when she saw one, and Natiya had chased after her just outside the cemetery gate. When she was close enough, Natiya called her name. Pauline seemed fearful, but she agreed to come.

I prayed she wasn’t afraid of me. Surely she couldn’t believe the lies. Or maybe she was only being cautious. She didn’t know Natiya, and perhaps she suspected a trap. But she knew the millpond had once been a favorite haunt of mine. A stranger wouldn’t have suggested it.

Maybe Berdi and Gwyneth had delayed her. Gwyneth was suspicious of everything, and here in Civica, rightly so. I should take that as a good sign.

But still my anxiety grew.

I paced the cottage and finally pulled out a chair and sat staring at the cottage door, my hands kneading my thighs. Bit by bit, I was losing everything. If I lost Pauline too, I wasn’t sure what I would do. What if she—

The handle rattled and the door eased open cautiously, its creak the only sound. As a quick afterthought, I put my hand on my dagger, but then Pauline stepped in, her hair dripping in wet strands, her flushed cheeks shimmering with rain. Our gazes met, and her eyes told me what I had feared. She knew. There was a condemning sharpness in them I had never seen before. My stomach floated even as my heart sank.

“You should have told me, Lia,” she said. “You should have told me! I could have dealt with it. You didn’t even give me a chance.”

I nodded, words stuck in my throat. She was right. “I was afraid, Pauline. I thought I could bury the truth and make it go away. I was wrong.”

She stepped toward me, hesitant at first, then earnest, throwing her arms around me, a fierceness in her grip. Angry. Her fists curling into my clothes, demanding, shaking, and then she leaned into me, sobbing. “You’re alive,” she cried into my shoulder. “You’re alive.” My chest shook, and I cried with her, the months and lies between us vanishing. She told me how frightened she’d been, the agony of waiting with no word, and the relief she felt when she saw me impersonating the queen. She, Berdi, and Gwyneth had been discreetly looking for me since then. “I love you, Lia. You are my sister, by the gods, a sister as true as blood. I knew what they said about you were lies.”

I wasn’t sure who held up whom, each of us heavy in the other’s arms, our cheeks wet against each other. “My brothers?”

“Bryn and Regan are well, but worried about you.”

Now it was my fists that curled into her clothes, and I choked back tears as she told me they hadn’t stopped believing in me either. They had asked a lot of questions trying to get at the truth and promised that as soon as they returned, they would find it. She said Berdi and Gwyneth were here with her and she told me where they were staying. I understood now why Natiya hadn’t been able to find them. It was a