The Beauty of Darkness - Mary E. Pearson Page 0,88

be known, but they won’t force themselves upon you the way lies will. They’ll court you, whisper to you, slip inside and warm your blood, and caress your neck until your flesh rises in bumps. That is the truth whispering to you. But you have to quiet your heart, Natiya. Listen. Trust the strength within you.”

After a few quiet moments, she yelled in frustration, “I don’t understand!”

I grabbed her by the wrist as she turned to storm off. “It is survival, Natiya! A whisper that could save you! Another kind of strength the gods have blessed us with. The truth you need doesn’t always come at the end of a sword!”

She glared at me. I could see in her eyes that, for now, sharp-edged steel was the only kind of power she sought. I felt something give within me. I could understand that kind of truth too.

“It is good to have many strengths, Natiya,” I said more gently, remembering the cold fullness of the knife in my hand as I plunged it into the Komizar’s gut. “Do not sacrifice one kind of strength for another.”

* * *

One night, when Natiya and I were both too spent to practice anything, and I sensed it might be our last camp before reaching Morrighan’s border, I emptied out my saddlebag to get the ancient texts I had packed away. It was time to teach her about what had come before, not just what we were heading into. All I found was the Last Testaments of Gaudrel. I ruffled through the contents again, shaking out my folded shirt and chemise. The Song of Venda was gone. I went on a rampage, asking who had gone through my bag. I knew I had carefully tucked both thin books into the bottom.

“You sure you packed them?” Tavish asked.

I glared at him. “Yes! I remember when—” I caught my breath. The bag had been in my possession for the entire journey—except at the beginning when I’d handed it to Rafe. He’d insisted on carrying it. It had been less than a few minutes while we walked, but then I had looked away while I checked my horse and supplies. He had stolen it? Why? Did he think stealing it would make the truths disappear too? Or that it would shake my resolve?

“Lia?” Natiya looked at me with worried eyes. “Are you all right?”

Stealing the book would change nothing. “I’m fine, Natiya. Come help me make a fire. I have some stories to tell you, and I expect you to remember them word for word in case anything happens to me.”

Jeb looked up from what he was doing, the same worried expression crossing over his face. “But nothing is going to happen,” he said firmly, his eyes locked on mine.

“No,” I answered to reassure him. “Nothing.” But we both knew that was a promise that couldn’t be made.

* * *

We reached the southern border of Morrighan—at least according to Kaden. There were no markers. We were still in the wilderness.

Tavish had looked down at the ground. “I don’t see a line. You see a line, Orrin?”

“Not me.”

“I think the border’s a little farther ahead yet,” Jeb added.

Kaden and I exchanged a glance, but we traveled on with them for several more miles before I decided to get our doubts out in the open. All three had made not-so-subtle pleas for my return to Dalbreck when we were out of Kaden’s earshot. They had made the same stern suggestions privately to him, in what seemed an effort to divide and conquer. I stopped my horse and looked all three squarely in the eyes. “Was there another purpose to your escort besides protection in the Cam Lanteux”—I tipped my head in acknowledgment toward Orrin—“and keeping us well fed? Did your king charge you with forcing me to return if the long ride didn’t change my mind?”

“Never,” Jeb answered. “His word is true.”

Not entirely, I thought.

Jeb sat back in his saddle and surveyed the barren hills ahead of us as if it roiled with vipers. “What do you plan to do when you get there?” he asked.

Exactly what the traitors had always feared. I had practice at this, only this time I would do it better—but I knew my plans would not soothe Jeb’s misgivings. “I plan to stay alive.”

He smiled.

“It’s time for you to return home. I can assure you, this is Morrighan,” I said. “I see the line even if you can’t, and I don’t want it to be