He nods slowly. “I hear he’s into their crew’s underground fights as well. It was odd he wanted to hold pads for you though.”
I shrug. “Johnny told me we can trust him, but I just get a weird vibe off him. I don’t know.”
Magnum reaches over, threading his fingers through mine. Instantly, my mind swirls with better thoughts. No more trying to figure Jiko out when I can sit back and think about the heat engulfing my body from Magnum’s touch.
“So, um, did that go as bad as I thought it did?” I start, worrying my lip over the scene from earlier today. Johnny and Oscar fighting. Brawler speaking his mind.
Mag’s lips thin. “It could’ve gone better, but I don’t know what I expected. Honestly, what happened is true to Johnny. He’s not used to losing, and he’s used to always getting his own way. The only person he ever loses to is his father.”
I like that I have Mag to talk to about Johnny. Brawler and Oscar will only tolerate him right now. Well, maybe not even tolerate him, but they’re trying, and I have to give them credit for that. But Mag also wants the best for Johnny. He knew him before Johnny was practically second in command of the most powerful gang in town.
“What was Johnny like in high school?”
Mag runs his hand through his copper hair as he turns out of the gym. “Kind of the same. Intense. Quiet, but mouthy if he needed to stick up for himself. His dad wasn’t top of the Crew yet, so there’s a bit of a difference there. Everyone pretty much figured K would take over though, so that made Johnny heir to the throne. Much like now, girls swarmed him, though that was pretty much par for the course for any Crew guy when we were in school. I’m sure it’s the same for Oscar. He could probably pick any girl he wanted.” He shoots a quick apologetic glance over to me. “Not that he would.”
“So, it was the same for you in school?” I ask, trying to be all nonchalant about it, but I know the least about Magnum’s past compared to the others. Surely, he’s not as black and white as he grew up, his father died, he initiated into the Crew, and then worked as a bodyguard ever since. “You had girls crawling all over you?”
His grip on my hand tightens. “Yeah, but I don’t know. I never took too much stock into that sow your wild oats mantra. I’m not perfect by any means, but I’m not a manwhore either.” His cheeks glow a pretty color red, flushing his skin and highlighting his hair. God, he’s sexy. “I don’t mind being alone. I like my space. I like my own thoughts. In fact, I haven’t thought about women in a long time. Not until I met you.”
I swallow down the anticipation that sticks in my throat. I place my other hand over our entwined fingers. “I’m sorry Johnny punched you.”
“I deserved it.”
I shake my head. “We all deserve to be happy, Magnum, and we can be happy in whatever way we want. None of us went about this in the right way.” The truth is, there was no right way. By all odds, none of us should’ve ended up together, but here we are.
“What are you going to do if Johnny won’t...I don’t know? Get involved? What if he gives you an ultimatum in the end?”
My heart skitters, the fast pumps of the beating muscle go off with a flurry inside my chest. “Johnny has to make his own decisions,” I say around a messy ball of emotion. “But I’ve made mine already.”
I can’t force Johnny into what the rest of us have. Do I hope he sees it our way? Fuck yes. My feelings for Johnny run deep. But am I willing to give up Brawler, Magnum, and Oscar for him and only him? No.
Maybe Johnny’s right. Maybe it would have been different if he’d not been a dick in the first place. Maybe I would’ve been all about him and no one else. If he’d treated me like he treats me now, I would’ve gotten lost in him, but I wouldn’t take any of it back. No way.
However, Johnny had a disadvantage the others didn’t from the very beginning. He’s the son of the asshole who ruined my life. He may not have ever had a