says, intentionally vague, which only piques my interest further.
I act like it doesn’t bother me though. Rubbing the back of my neck, I ask, “Are you going to tell your dad about Magnum’s cousin?”
Johnny pulls me to the side and stands. “No, I’m not going to do that. What he did was stupid. Now it’s not only his ass on the line, but mine too.”
Already, a barrier starts to descend between Johnny and me. Maybe it was all the Crew talk, but the guy who chuckled a couple of minutes ago, now has frown lines creasing his mouth.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him.
This makes him pull up short. “For what?”
“Ruining your favorite time of the day.”
His jaw ticks as he glances over his shoulder. Whatever he sees there makes him come to me again. “You aren’t ruining anything. If nothing else, you’re the bright spot in all of this.”
I give him a hesitant smile. “If my opinion matters, I think it’s a good thing that you trust Magnum and he trusts you. You need to open up to people...” I drop off the part that should’ve said, …who aren’t your father. He should trust people who don’t make him pay for it later.
“You like the other guys here, don’t you?”
I swallow. The lump in my throat is so big it practically makes my esophagus walls burn. “They’re good guys.”
I desperately want to tell him he has a whole family waiting for him. People who will accept him even if he isn’t Johnny Rocket of the Heights Crew. At the same time, I know it’s too soon. A red flush creeps up my neck. “It was Oscar and Brawler who I was talking about before. They’re living in these small ass apartments. Their family life isn’t great, and I just wondered what they—and others—see when they get a glimpse into your life.”
“They should see hope,” Johnny says. “It might take hard work to get here, but trust me, if it weren’t for the Crew, Rawley Heights would be a joke. A lawless land of the poor and decrepit. That’s what it was like before the Crew. The Crew brought jobs and a solid foundation to the Heights. The economy is booming compared to what it was.”
His words drone on like he’s reciting from a textbook. He’s probably right though. I bet the Crew has done some good things for the Heights, but that doesn’t mean everything they do is good. “There’s good and bad with everything.”
He latches his gaze to mine. The same insecure Johnny who asked if I wanted to leave is back.
I’m quick to reassure him. “I’m staying, Johnny. I just think we both realize the same thing. It’s why you won’t tell your dad about Magnum’s cousin. Sometimes, the Crew isn’t so good.”
Johnny’s gaze hardens. “I know you know this, but those words can’t ever leave your mouth around anyone. Understand?”
It would be easier if I could just rip myself bare for him. Show him my insides instead of telling him. Words can be so inconsequential when they’re not saying what you truly want to say. “I think you have more friends than you know.” I press up onto my tiptoes and kiss him. “You’re a good person, Johnny.”
He laughs. The sound dark and dangerous, almost curdling my blood. “I’m not good, babe. I’m trying to be, for you, but sometimes invisible straps hold me in place.”
“I’ve got a knife,” I tell him, lifting one shoulder.
“The only good decision I’ve ever made is you.”
He cups the back of my head and pulls me forward, sealing his lips to mine. We don’t get far because the door to the room crashes open.
Johnny and I jump, and my towel completely unravels. I try to grab it, but it’s too late. I flash boob everywhere, and fuck me, but standing in the doorway is none other than Big Daddy K.
“Dad,” Johnny exclaims, moving his body in front of mine to shield me.
I quickly knot my towel again, holding my arms securely just under my chest. My face flushes with heat as if it’s been cooked from the inside out. Anger sweeps through me. What kind of fucking asshole doesn’t knock before he comes into a fucking bedroom?
Johnny’s tense voice says, “I thought you weren’t coming in until later.”
Big Daddy K’s piercing gaze goes right through Johnny as if he’s undressing me. The disgusting bastard got a pretty good look too. I throw up a little in my mouth and swallow it back