This is a moment on the precipice. I don’t even know if Magnum has ever defied an order before, or what Johnny usually does to people who do, though I can take a guess. If I was lining up a shot on a dartboard, I’d aim for the big circle that says, He makes them pay.
Before I’m caught staring, I move to the top of the stairs and stop. I sit, making sure I’m out of their view, but can still hear them when they begin talking again.
“You know what I’m supposed to do, right?” Johnny asks.
“Punish me,” Magnum says. “That’s at your discretion.”
The sofa creaks, and my heart lodges in my throat. Images flicker by of Johnny pulling out a gun and shooting Mag point blank in the face just like Big Daddy K did to Dunnegan and Roza. I’m on the point of thudding down the stairs and calling out to him to stop.
Only, it turns out I don’t have to. “When someone has a secret, that makes them friends.”
Magnum doesn’t say anything.
“When two people have secrets on each other, that makes them allies.”
“I’ve heard the terms.”
I smile because I’m fairly sure Magnum said almost the same thing to me once.
Johnny blows out a breath. “We were talking before Kyla woke up, and you told me I could talk to you.”
“Anything,” Mag says.
“I was once in your position.” Johnny’s voice sounds off, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard the same tone come out of his mouth before. He’s sad, confused, and lost. Everything all wrapped up at once that what comes out is a tenor so lonely it makes my heart break. “I found one of my family members before. Someone who defected. I didn’t kill them either.” There’s a long pause before he speaks again. “I wanted to, and I almost hate myself for it now.”
“Who was it?” Mag asks.
“My mom.”
My body trembles with the ache to go to them. To both of them. His mom got away, so yeah, she defected. He told me as much earlier, but he didn’t tell me he’d found her. He’d only told me he hated her for it.
“She was living with a new family. A new life. They had a house in a posh neighborhood just on the outskirts of a quaint town. It was perfect…and I was bitter.”
“That would’ve been a lot to take in, man,” Magnum says.
“I left her there. To lead her new life. I walked away.” The ticking of the clock extends. “But it didn’t matter because he killed her, anyway.”
I gasp. I’m so thrown by his admittance that I don’t cover my mouth until it’s too late. Then, I’m just sitting there with my hand over my face, my lip tucked between my teeth.
“My dad found her, and he wasn’t as nice as me,” Johnny continues. “He killed her. I just want you to know that I know how that feels, and I would never do that to anybody. Your secret is safe with me.”
My heart drums so loud it’s like there’s a concert going on in my chest cavity. I pull myself up to shaky feet and retreat into the master bedroom, sinking down into the insanely comfortable mattress and curling up into a ball.
That bastard killed his own wife. He killed his son’s mom.
He deserves everything coming to him.
14
When Johnny finally makes it to the master bedroom, I pretend to be asleep. I don’t want to look him in the eye and pretend I don’t know anything. I spend the time lying next to him getting my game face together. A time will come when I will ask about his mom, but it won’t be right now. He can tell me when he’s ready, and besides, we have current things to worry about right now.
The next morning, I slip off of the mattress and head into the en suite shower. Getting ready for the day when you don’t know what you’re going to face is awkward. At least when I was at my aunt and uncle’s, I knew I’d have to deal with petty bitches and guys who think their shit doesn’t stink at the prep school. In the Heights, everything is a toss-up. It could be school, it could be training, it could be getting fucking shot at.
Regardless, since it’s called a safe house, I’m hoping for an easier existence here. However, I don’t know if that will be the case considering we’re holding someone captive against their will. Someone who’d