A Beautiful Funeral (The Maddox Brothers #5) - Jamie McGuire Page 0,74
from the police force. This was why she made him promise not to let the kids follow in his footsteps. Once Death took Diane in its arms, Jim and the boys have all been waiting for it to come for them. It became real then, a tangible thing, because it didn’t just happen to someone else. It happened to her. Their everything, their sunshine, their constant. And then she was a memory that faded with each passing day. Trenton had said he’s struggled to remember the sound of her voice and the exact color of her eyes. The moment she’d passed, they had seen Death, and Death had seen them.
Taylor and Tyler were sitting around the dining table in front of homemade dishes and a stack of clean plates. Their wives sat next to them, attempting to help them carry the pain. Because it wasn't going away. It would never go away. No matter how many times they yelled, threw punches, or lost their tempter, they couldn't win.
Ironically, Travis was taking it the best. He was making sure the brothers had water or beer, and that they were comfortable with the number on the thermostat. Trenton and Shepley were still angry with Travis, and the twins were still on his side, but they couldn't fight one another today. They needed each other to get through it.
Abby stood out from the rest in a muted blue dress, sitting in the corner where Liis had been a few days before, glaringly without Carter. I watched as she fussed with her dress, tugging at the too-tight parts and pulling at the square neckline to cover the bulging breasts of a new mother.
"You look beautiful," I assured her.
She rolled her eyes. "Thank you. It's tighter than I thought it'd be, but I didn't really have anything for the occasion."
"It's perfect," I said. "I have a lot of black. You should have called."
"Nothing in your closet is going to fit me right now," she said.
"I'm actually a little surprised Travis isn't scrambling over here to keep you covered.”
Travis had been known for complaining when Abby wore something too revealing or too tight, aware of his own jealousy. In the beginning, he was trying to be proactive to avoid a fight. But after they were married, something changed, and Travis wasn't as sensitive. Still, Travis unaffected by the overabundance of cleavage was serious progress.
"Good for you," I said, crossing my arms and sitting back. The somber faces in the room reminded me why we were gathered at Jim's, and the sickness that had settled in my stomach in the last week had returned. It wasn't just grief. Something was off, and I couldn't quite figure it out. Travis and Liis were leaning on each other quite a bit, and Abby—though typically stoic—didn't seem as affected by Thomas' death. "Abby," I said. "If you knew something else ... about Thomas ... you'd tell us, right?"
Abby sighed. "When I left the hospital without my son, I cried for a full hour. I didn't want to, but I had to, so I did. I left him there alone to come here to be with family. And I'll go straight back to the hospital when this is over. I've done that every day for nearly a week. Hold my son, careful of the wires and tubing attached to him. Worry, enjoy my time with him, feel guilty being away from the twins, and then tell him goodbye, cry, and leave."
I waited for her to make her point, but she didn't seem to have one. I took that as her way of telling me my question was inappropriate, and she was just going to talk about what she wanted.
"He's doing better, though?" I asked.
"Getting stronger every day. We're hoping he can come home next week."
"You're a good mom. I know it's hard."
"Having your heart split into three pieces, walking around vulnerable outside my body? Some days it's torture. There are no words to describe how frightening, wonderful, awful, and exhausting it is. Worrying seems like second nature. It's a part of me because I love them so much, even before they were born, that if something bad happened to them, it would be worse than death. I hear about children dying, and I find myself apathetic because if I think about it too much, I'll break down. People say it's every parent's worst nightmare. It's not a nightmare. You wake up from nightmares."