The Beast (Wicked Villains #4) - Katee Robert Page 0,83
eyes. It was a false dream, anyways. I have to admit that to myself, even if I haven’t been able to admit it to anyone else. I am Orsino Belmonte’s daughter. I was never leaving this city, was never having a life outside the responsibilities of the territory. I was never going to be normal.
When I open my eyes again, it’s to find Gaeton looking like he’s torn between throwing himself at us and leaving the room as quickly as possible. I can’t dredge up a smile to comfort him, not when I’m so unsure myself. Not when there’s still so much burned and salted ground between us. “It’s okay if you can’t forgive me, Gaeton. It’s …” It’s so hard to get this out. Setting him free is the last thing I want, which makes me a bigger hypocrite than I can ever say. I swallow hard. “I know what I did was unforgivable.”
For a second, he seems like he’s in actual physical pain. He slumps back against the headboard. “It makes a funny kind of sense. If there’s a god, that fucker is laughing his ass off at us right now.” He drags a hand over his face. “You’re not the only one to blame, Isabelle. You were never the only one to blame.”
“But—”
“No.” He shakes his head. “You were right before. We agreed to that fucked up situation, and we both failed to be honest with you. I don’t know about Beast but I just wanted to be good enough for you.” He laughs a little, the sound jagged and sharp. “He calls you princess, but that’s the fucking truth of what I thought. You were a princess and if I just compressed myself enough, I could be your Prince Charming.”
It’s a truth we’ve touched on again and again in the last few days, but hearing him admit to it shakes me to my core. I reach out a tentative hand and place it on his chest. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t want a Prince Charming.”
“No, you want two monsters.” The words hold no venom.
Beast shifts closer, not quite touching either of us. “Monsters are more effective than princes when it comes to keeping what you care about safe.” His blue eyes flare. “They’re better at playing dark games in bed, too.”
I can’t quite fight down a shiver as the memories of the night crash over me. “That’s the damn truth.”
Beast seems to make an effort to bank the heat in his gaze. “We were missing something before. Several somethings. None of us were honest about what we wanted.” He finally looks at Gaeton. “And none of us were getting everything we needed out of it. Closing the triangle will solve that.”
Gaeton’s already shaking his head. “You say that like it’s that easy.”
“It is that easy. I might not have recognized that my hate for you was thwarted lust, but hindsight is twenty-twenty.” Beast takes my hand, his fingers playing against my wrist. “And Isabelle will never be happy in a monogamous relationship. That was our first sign to get creative, and we would have noticed if we weren’t so wrapped up in competing with each other.”
I pull back. I can’t help it. Beast holds on to my hand a second longer than necessary, as if reminding me that he chooses to let me go. I pull the blanket more firmly around myself, but it doesn’t do a damn thing against the possibilities beating against the barrier around my heart. “Is this an extension of the scene? Some kind of playing pretend?”
“No.” Beast shakes his head. He doesn’t have his cold mask on. Instead he looks almost vulnerable. “An unconventional solution, maybe, but not nearly as unconventional as some people think. I want both of you. There’s not a single fucking reason we shouldn’t be able to make this work.”
I have admitted so many dark truths to these men over the last few days, but somehow this feels like the deepest, darkest truth yet. I lick my lips. “I want you both, too. I love you both. I never stopped, even when I was helping us burn things to the ground last time.”
Gaeton still won’t look at us directly. “What happens when Isabelle gets skittish? Or you get bored? It will fall apart just like it did before.”
“No, it won’t. We’re not trying to have a conventional relationship like we were before.” Beast leans forward. “We’re not lying the way we were before.