sixth sense, instantly aware if one was about to catch them wrapping the Santa gifts or if another was two steps from interrupting foreplay. Apparently that ability extended to him too. He settled onto a porch chair, leaving an empty one between himself and his wife. The boys' soccer stuff he dropped at his feet.
Glancing over, he felt yet another pang. He thought she might be thinner than before, but her skin had a light tan revealed by her tank top and sporty miniskirt. It had matching attached shorts, and she wore that kind of thing when she took the baby out for a jog in the stroller. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, the ends brushing the spot between her shoulder blades he'd kissed the other night after he'd mounted her from behind.
His cock went half-hard at the memory, and he could almost feel the sleek skin of her hips against his palms. Why was he having second thoughts? Great sex was a stupendous idea.
Except Tess didn't seem to be much concerned with David at all. Her beautiful blue eyes were trained on the small band of their children as they ambled up the beach. He followed her gaze, and the silence between them grew longer and more uncomfortable. Finally, he cleared his throat. "History, huh?" he said, referring to Rebecca's project.
Her head turned to him, the bones of her face elegant. And the expression so serious. "Our history, encapsulated right there. From Rebecca to Russ."
The vise cinched down again. David plucked at the front of his dress shirt. He'd taken off the tie as he'd left work, but now he went after the buttons. It didn't make it much easier to breathe. It didn't prevent him from glancing again at the kids, receding in the distance.
Over Jane's shoulder, little Russ suddenly looked at him. He raised one chubby arm and executed a baby wave, the kind where the fingers and thumb met a few times like a tiny duck quacking.
A sharp pain shot down David's right arm as he found himself waving back. Was this a heart attack for real, then? Or was the warning sign pain in the left arm? He let his hand fall to his lap but kept his eyes on his smallest son.
Damn it. Why wasn't he turning into his dad? Why wasn't the whole distance thing working? The old man had been as remote as an outer planet. If he'd ever worried over his children or suffered for the love of them, he'd managed to hide it very well.
When his father's youngest child - David's little brother, the first Russ - had died of leukemia, Lawrence Quincy had left the hospital and gone right back to his desk at the water authority. There'd been a funeral. David had been six and his mother had dressed him up in a cousin's hand-me-down suit that had smelled like mothballs. His father had probably taken off work to attend, but there'd been no other vestige of mourning. Lawrence had never mentioned the dead child's name again.
It seemed such a smart way to be now! Stoic and untouchable. That morning when he'd made that stupid, stupid mistake and almost lost his own Russ, all David could think about was the horror he would have felt if it had really happened. All he could do afterward was find some way to protect himself from possible future pain.
He just couldn't, couldn't love them all so damn much.
"David?" Tess's voice grew urgent with concern. "David, what is it?"
Her sixth sense at work again. He ran a hand over his face, wiping away a cold sweat. "It goes by so fast, doesn't it?" His gaze cut to her, then back to the kids, who were almost out of sight around the bend toward the house where the World War Two reporter lived. "That old guy they're going to visit was at our wedding reception, right? And it seems just like yesterday, but it was a lifetime ago. Four lifetimes."
"So that's it, then?" Tess asked.
The sharp note in her voice had him staring back at her, suddenly wary. "That's what?"
"You feel as if your good days are gone."
"No! I was just..." He threw up a hand, not wanting to get into it. Wasn't he here to promise great sex? His voice lowered, he hoped, to a seductive rasp. "I had a good night, a very, very good night, right here on this beach not long ago."