be so hard for Daniel. He looks like he could use, at the very least, a friend.
They work hard, Daniel and Matt, side by side. Nan watches from the window like a mother hen, emerging from time to time to check their progress, bringing them cold lemonade, then calling them for lunch.
“I set the table under the pergola,” Nan says. “You two need a break and I have to dash off to the A & P with Michael.” And with a jaunty wave, she’s gone, a smile on her face.
She would love to stay, but knows they will be more comfortable alone.
Matt walks in front, grinning as he sees the table. Daniel, following behind, looks away as Matt pulls off the gardening gloves and tucks them absentmindedly into the back pocket of his jeans, then looks back at the smooth curve of Matt’s backside in rough, faded Levi’s, blushing as Matt turns and catches his gaze.
Two linen placemats are laid out, a white bowl of salad greens from the garden, toasted pine nuts and feta, beautifully cut roast beef sandwiches, and a basket of what smells suspiciously like freshly baked bread.
“Damn!” Matt slaps his thigh. “She forgot the candles!”
“What?” Daniel looks at him in confusion.
“Well, doesn’t this feel like we’re being set up on a date?” He grins again, not entirely unhappy about the situation, as Daniels eyes widen.
“We are? But . . . Nan doesn’t know . . . ?” Daniel’s voice trails off.
“Doesn’t know what? That I’m gay? Oh Daniel, everyone on the island who knows me knows I’m gay. I think it’s sweet. She thinks we’d make a nice couple.” He raises an eyebrow at Daniel, who flushes and looks away, not knowing what on earth to say, unused to flirting with a man, and particularly with a man so unexpectedly cute.
“Oh shit.” Matt’s face falls. “Don’t tell me you’re straight. Oh my God! I’m so embarrassed.”
“No, no,” Daniel lays a hand on his arm as Matt sinks his head in his hands. “I am gay—” and even as he says those words he feels relief flood through him—“it’s just that . . . I’m newly gay.”
“You just came out?”
“Well, not officially. I don’t understand how Nan knew?”
“Because you thought you were as straight as they come? Oh honey . . .” Matt throws his head back and laughs. “I hate to disappoint you but we can always tell.”
“Nan too?”
Matt shrugs. “Nan? Of course. Shall we sit down? This food looks delicious and, bless her, she’s even left cold beers in the cooler for us. I think we should treat this as the date it’s supposed to be.”
Daniel sits, gratefully taking a swig of the beer Matt hands to him. “I was married until about a minute ago.”
“Married? Married? To a woman ?”
Daniel nods.
“No wonder you’re so jumpy. This really must be new for you. Were you faithful or were there men on the side?”
“God, no!” Daniel says. “I’ve got two daughters. I’d never be unfaithful.”
“But you’ve always known you were gay?”
Daniel nods.
“Me too.” Matt dishes out the salad as he talks. “I guess I was lucky. My dad left us when I was four, and my mom always had tons of gay friends. It seemed completely natural to be gay and, honestly, I don’t ever remember having a conversation about it, or ever officially coming out. It just evolved, and was never uncomfortable, or an issue. I’ve met so many married men over the years. Actually—” he looks coy for a second—“I’ve had affairs with one or two, but I’ve known so many men who are married and who can’t see another way. Most of them stay married their entire lives and the wives never know.”
Daniel nods. “That’s how it was for me. I’ve always known, but I didn’t want to know, didn’t want it to be true. I thought that being married to a woman would somehow keep me safe.” He snorts. “Isn’t that ridiculous?”
“No. I think a lot of men feel that way.”
“But I thought I could do it, and then something happened. A guy I was once . . . well, we had a fling years ago, before I was married. I hadn’t seen him for years then he got back in touch, and he came out years ago—and I saw what my life could have been, could still be, and realized I couldn’t live a lie any longer. I just couldn’t do it.”
“I think that’s incredibly brave,” Matt says. “I can’t imagine