Barbie Btch (Rejects Paradise #3) - Sheridan Anne Page 0,126
relief and I can’t deny that I kinda like the idea too. “So,” I say, meeting the boys’ stares as I pull myself up onto the counter with Nic’s murmured conversation in the background, ordering all my favorite toppings. “Which one of you guys allowed Carmen Fucking Saunders to weasel her way back into Nic’s bed?”
Guilty expressions stare back at me, each of them fumbling for the right thing to say and just like that, everything goes back to how it was always meant to be.
Chapter 31
Hours turn into days and before I know it, it’s Wednesday night and I’ve been taking over Nic’s small apartment for nearly three days. I’m not going to lie, having this time to build up my relationship with the boys again has been nice.
I really hate being away from them for so long, but these few days have put everything into perspective for me and because of that, I've learned more about myself than I’ve ever learned before.
I am one hundred percent in love with Colton Carrington and the more time I spend away from him, the clearer it becomes. I’ve learned that the things a normal person wouldn’t be okay with are things that have become far too normal in my life, and I’ve learned that no matter what, I will always have someone in my corner.
The past three days have been nice while also filled with all sorts of heartache. I miss my mom and not having her there at the end of the day to unload all my problems on has been hard. I’ve talked briefly with her and while we’ve technically both admitted that things were handled in a really shitty way, it’s still not the same as sitting down and talking it all through. In the end, I know Mom and I will always be okay. She’s my mom and no matter what, I love her just as she loves me. I’m pretty sure I could tell her that I’m going to replace my father and become the world’s most feared killer and she’d still love me.
What really sucks though is not having Colton and feeling his fingers brush over my skin as he passes behind me, or having his sweet little nothings whispered in my ear, his touch, his kiss, his everything.
I hate that I miss him so damn much. He’s been blowing up my phone to the point that I blocked his number. Then he started hitting me up on my Facebook messenger, then my other social media accounts, and finally, he went with a good old fashioned email that read—
To: Oceania Munroe
From: Colton Carrington
Subject: Unblock me, Jade!
Stop fucking playing with me. Un-fucking-block me so I can hear your sweet voice bitching me out, then get your stubborn ass home so I can fuck you until the mattress breaks.
I didn’t almost agree to shove a fucking dildo up my ass for you to walk away now. You know me, Jade. You’ve always known what I was capable of. I know the company you keep and despite how they chose to live their lives, you’re okay with that. Deep down, you know you’re okay with this too. You’re not pissed about what I did, you’re fucking furious that I didn’t tell you about it.
I’m not a patient man, Jade. I want you home so we can talk this through and then I want to eat your pussy like a Thanksgiving turkey.
I know you’re not angry anymore. You’re just fucking stubborn and making me sweat it, but that’s okay, two can play that game.
I’ll be waiting for you, Ocean.
I think I read over his ridiculous email twenty times before finally shoving my phone back into my pocket. He's a dumbass if he thinks I’m just going to roll over and forget about this. He killed someone. He took a life and didn’t even bat an eyelash about it.
Am I okay with that? Truth be told; I don’t fucking know.
Colton might be onto something. I’m okay with what Nic and the boys do. I've known for years that they’re killers and it’s never pushed me away, so why am I giving Colton such a hard time for the same thing? Maybe I’ve been holding him on some kind of pedestal, thinking he was better than that, but that’s not fair. No one should be put on a pedestal as it only makes expectations that are impossible to reach.
Is that what I've been doing to Colton? He deserves better than that.