The Bands of Mourning (Mistborn #6) - Brandon Sanderson Page 0,26
of horse dung. It was hard to think in a place like this; everyone knew the best thinking happened in alleyways and slums. Places where the brain had to be alert, even panicked—where the bugger knew that if it didn’t perk up and get some geniusing done, you were likely to get yourself stabbed, and then where would it be?
Holding your brain hostage against your own stupidity—that was how to get stuff done. Wayne made his way to a nearby canal, and searched out a gondola man who looked bored.
“My good man,” Wayne said to himself. “My good man.” Yeah, that was it. Speak like you couldn’t breathe right—high First Octant accent, with a little Terris stirred in. Rich accent. Very rich.
“You, boatman!” Wayne called, waving. “Hey! Oh, do hurry. I haven’t the time!”
The boatman poled over.
“Quickly now, quickly, my good man!” Wayne shouted. “Tell me. How much for the day?”
“The day?” the boatman said.
“Yes, yes,” Wayne said, hopping into the boat. “I have need of your services for the entire day.” Wayne settled himself without waiting for a response. “Onward, now. Up the Fourth-Fifth Canal, turn right around the Hub, then east up the Irongate. First stop is in the Third Octant. She’s counting on me, you know.”
“The whole day,” the boatman said, eager. “Yes, sir, um … my lord.…”
“Ladrian,” Wayne said. “Waxillium Ladrian. We aren’t moving. Why aren’t we moving?”
The boatman began poling, so gleeful at the prospect of many hours of employment that he forgot to ask for any money up front.
“Fifty,” the man finally said.
“Hmm?”
“Fifty. For the whole day.”
“Yes, yes, fine,” Wayne said. Dirty thief, he thought. Trying to cheat an upstanding citizen, and a house lord at that, merely because he acted a little distracted? What was this world coming to? When his grandfather Ladrian had been house lord, men had known how to be respectful. Why, a boatman in those days would have dunked himself in the canal before taking a wuzing more than he was due!
“If you don’t mind me asking, my lord,” the boatman said. “And I mean no offense … but your clothing.”
“Yes?” Wayne asked, straightening his Roughs coat.
“Is something wrong with it?”
“Wrong with it?” Wayne said, stuffing his accent so full of noble indignation it was practically bleeding. “Wrong with it? Man, do you not follow fashion?”
“I—”
“Thomton Delacour himself designed these clothes!” Wayne said. “Northern outlands inspiration. It’s the height, I tell you! The height. A Coinshot couldn’t get higher!”
“Sorry. Sorry, my lord. I said I didn’t want to offend!”
“You can’t just say ‘don’t be offended’ and then say something offensive, man! That’s not how it works.” Wayne settled back, arms folded.
The boatman, wisely, said nothing more to him. After about ten minutes of travel, the time had arrived.
“Now,” Wayne said, as if to himself, “we’ll need to stop at Glimmering Point docks. And then a skid along Stansel Belt.”
He let his accent shift, a little of the Knobs—a slum—slipping in. Dull accent, like a mouth filled with cotton. The folks there used the word “skid” for practically anything. Distinctive word, that. Skiiiid. Sounded like it should be something dirty.
“Um, my lord?”
“Hm?” Wayne said. “Oh, just going over my errands. My nephew is getting married—you might have heard of the wedding, it’s all the talk of the city. So many errands. Yes indeed, the day will be quite the skid.”
That was a ruffian’s accent, but just a hint, like the lemon in a good hot toddy. He slipped it in under the highborn accent.
The boatman started to get uncomfortable. “You said the Stansel Belt? Not a nice area, that.”
“Need to hire some workers,” Wayne said absently.
The boatman continued poling, but he was nervous now. Tapping his foot, moving the pole more quickly, ignoring calls from colleagues they passed. Something was wrong. Like the scent of a meat pie left under the sofa for a few days. A whole day’s hiring? An outrageous sum? It might instead be a setup. Pretend to be a lord, then lure him into the slums to be robbed.…
“My lord!” the man said. “I just realized. Gotta get back. Can’t be hired for the whole day. My mother, she’ll need me.”
“What nonsense is this?” Wayne demanded. “I haven’t the time for your prattle, man! And catching another boat will waste my precious time. I’ll double your fee.”
Now, the man was really anxious. “Sorry, my lord,” he said, poling to the side of the canal. “Very sorry. Can’t do it.”