In a Badger Way (Honey Badger Chronicles #2) - Shelly Laurenston Page 0,116

had a snake already wrapped around her arm, its fangs dug in deep on her hand. “These are just vipers and cobras.”

Stevie shook her head. “How does that knowledge help me in any way?”

* * *

Shen had heard that honey badgers were big fans of live snakes, but he’d never thought they enjoyed them . . . like this.

They were all so happy. And eager. The bears weren’t, though. Neither was Stevie.

Max, however . . .

“Yes!” Max cheered before attempting to dive into the loose snakes slithering across the floor. But Charlie caught her sister by the back of the neck and yanked her away.

“No,” she said sternly.

“Oh, come on!” Max begged.

Charlie simply tossed her sister to the Dunns. Britta caught Max in her arms and was out the door before anyone else could say a word.

Dag followed right behind her. And it seemed as if Berg wanted to go, but he didn’t want to leave Charlie. She made that easy, though, when she barked, “Berg, get out!”

The grizzly went out the door at the perfect time. Because a rattler suddenly reared up and bit into Charlie’s leg.

“Oh, God,” Shen cringed.

“Don’t move,” Stevie warned.

“Yeah, but Charlie—”

“Can take care of herself. Look to your left.”

He did and saw a cobra slithering near. Trying not to scream like a girl, Shen moved his ass onto a barstool while Charlie reached down and unhitched the rattler from her leg. She then banged it again and again against one of the bar stools. When the snake was dead, she tossed it to one of her cousins, who bit the head off. Just like that. Bit it off and started chatting with one of her kin . . . while chewing.

Realizing he was more afraid of snakes then he knew, he asked Stevie, “How the fuck do we get out of here?”

“Bar top,” she said, pointing. “Bar top!”

Shen scrambled from the stool to the bar top. On all fours, he rushed across the bar with Stevie still on his back. She’d moved so her arms were around his shoulders and her legs around his waist.

For once, he completely understood why Stevie was freaking out. Because that ridiculous hissing sound—multiple hissing, no less!—was making him panic too. He just wanted to get them both out of there. To someplace safe.

Once Shen reached the other end of the bar, he quickly climbed down and went out the front door.

On the street, he stopped long enough to rest his arm on a van and his head on his arm.

“Are you okay?” Stevie asked him.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m fine.”

Her fingers pressed against the side of his neck. “Your increased heart rate suggests you’re not fine.”

“I guess I’m just not a snake person.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything.”

“I know.” She rested her chin on his shoulder, and pressed her cheek against his. “But I should have warned you that almost all honey badger events end with snakes. I just didn’t think they’d bring them out this early. It’s not even dark yet.”

Charlie stepped out of the bar. There were snakebites on her legs, hands, and one on her face.

“Oh, my God!” Berg was at her side, sweeping her into his arms.

Charlie gazed at him. “What are you doing?”

“Rushing you to a hospital . . . ?”

“Why?”

He glanced at his siblings and Britta, who still had a firm grip on the back of Max’s neck, gently pointed out, “Because you’re covered in snake bites, sweetie.”

“Oh, that. They’ll heal.” She patted the back of her hand against his chest and, frowning, Berg placed her back on the ground.

“So is everyone ready to go home now?” she asked.

“No!” Stevie barked, surprising them. “I mean . . . wouldn’t it be fun to go shopping, get some clothes, then hang out in the city tonight? Maybe go to a club!”

“No,” they all answered.

“Do it anyway,” Stevie begged. “For me.”

“I thought you’d want to head back to Queens,” Charlie softly suggested, “and stop by the emergency vet. Check on Benny.”

Stevie did want to go check on Benny. Especially because every time she called the animal hospital—which, she’d admit, was often—the receptionists got more and more testy. “No,” they’d say, “his status hasn’t changed in the thirty minutes since you last called.”

She shook her head and lied, “Nope. Don’t need to see him—I’m sure he’s fine.”

“Okay, Stevie,” Charlie said, “what did you do?”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Who did you promise what? And why?”

Stevie placed her forehead on Shen’s shoulder. “Well . . .” she began. Then