Bad For You - Sherilee Gray Page 0,70

She didn’t want me.

“Whatever’s going on in your head, let’s talk about it, okay? We’ll talk about it and I’ll make it okay.” There was desperation in my voice, and I didn’t give a shit.

She shook her head. “There’s nothing to talk about. I…I’ve thought about it, and I’ve made a decision…”

“Lila, don’t. Don’t you fucking say it.”

“Jesse…”

“Look, if it’s too soon for the patch, that’s fine. I’ll hold on to it until you’re ready…”

“I don’t think we should see each other anymore,” she said. Her voice was nothing but a broken whisper, but it was lightning cracking through the room.

Every muscle in my body locked. “No. No, that’s not happening. We talk, we work it out, and we move forward.”

She planted her hand on my chest and pushed, pushed me away. She may as well have cleaved out my heart.

“I’ve made my decision,” she said and tried to climb out of bed.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her back, rolling, covering her body with mine. I shoved my legs between hers and cupped her face, making her look at me. I needed her to fucking look at me. “This is bullshit, Lila. I don’t know why you’re doing this, but no. It’s not fucking over. We are not over.”

She looked different, her eyes were flat, her face pale. “I don’t belong here, Jesse. I don’t fit in with your club.”

“You do. They love you…”

“This isn’t what I want for myself. And I…I don’t want to be your property. I will never be anyone’s property.”

“That’s not what it means, you know that…”

“Let me up, Jesse.”

I didn’t want to.

“Now.”

I cupped her face, searching her beautiful eyes for answers, running my thumb over her jaw, needing to touch her, to keep her here with me. “Don’t do this, baby. You don’t want to do this.”

She took my wrist in her small hand and pulled it away. “It’s over.”

Another hit. This one with enough force to have me bolting from the bed. I snatched up my jeans and stalked out of the room before I did something I shouldn’t, like tie her to my bed and never let her go. Or I started begging or yelling, or fuck, crying.

Because it hurt. It motherfucking hurt.

I thought we were solid.

I thought she…fuck, I thought she loved me, too.

I could hear her moving around in my room, and I paced the living room, fingers tugging my hair, trying to wrack my brain. What the hell had I done? Why was she doing this?

How could I make her change her mind? She had to change her mind.

Okay…maybe it was just a matter of me moving too fast and her freaking out? Maybe she just needed time?

I didn’t want to give her time, but I would. I’d do anything to keep her.

She walked out and my gaze snapped to her, eating up the sight of her. I wanted to pull her into my arms so bad my arms actually tingled and my skin felt tight.

“I pushed. I get it. I’m moving too fast. We can slow things down. If that’s what you need, we’ll slow things down…”

“No, Jesse.”

The hard resolve in her voice stripped the flesh from my bones. Breathing hard, I shoved my hands in my pockets, curling my fingers into fists, and shook my head in denial. This couldn’t be happening.

“Look, we had some fun. This wasn’t meant to get so…serious…”

“Bullshit,” I bit out, my heart racing so fast I was light-headed. Or maybe it was a desperate sprint for survival, because it felt like the fucker was about to explode in my chest.

“I want to thank you,” she said. “You helped me find the confidence in myself, in my body, that I was lacking.”

I laughed without humor, the sound ugly. “So what happens now that you have this confidence? You go out and fuck other guys? Guys who aren’t dirty bikers? Who can give you what you really want?”

She flushed and looked down. No. I couldn’t believe that. She was trying to make me believe I’d been a fun diversion, that now I’d showed her how to fuck, she was going to go out and find Mr. Right.

Maybe you’ve just been blind this whole time.

Maybe, but twisted masochist that I am, I still wanted her.

I would always want her.

I should have seen this coming. I’d been waiting for her to figure out I was a piece of trash ever since I talked her into giving me a second chance. I’d known she was too good