Bad Habits: A Dark Anthology - Yolanda Olson Page 0,3

then I hear glasses. Moments later, there’s the smell of smoke, and I inch out of bed. I’m at the door, peeping through the keyhole when I see the girl they’ve got here tonight. She’s sitting beside a man I don’t know.

They’re dressed in expensive clothes. Even though the view is blurry, I can tell. Mainly because Mommy and Daddy don’t wear anything that’s expensive.

They keep up the ruse of being God-fearing people by going to church, praying with the congregation and smiling at everyone as if innocence drenched them in its sickly-sweet fragrance.

“Prayer is important,” I hear Daddy telling them. Maybe they’re getting married, and he’s going to be the pastor. “In this house, we pray all the time. God is good, He brings us blessings when we least expect them.”

“I’m thankful to have found your parish. My daughter has been in so much trouble, so when we moved here, just this morning, the first thing I wanted to do was meet with you.” The stranger tells Daddy. That’s when I notice how young the girl beside him is.

I watch in awe as he nudges her and she rises. Wearing a long black dress, she smiles before she slips the material down. It falls to the ground, and she’s now standing in only a pair of panties.

“Yes, she’s perfect,” I hear Daddy tell the man. “What do you think, Patricia?” Daddy asks my mom.

“I think she’ll do nicely. Come here,” Mommy tells the girl, and then I lose sight of her. Mommy must be sitting closer to the living room window because it’s not in line with the hallway.

“I’m glad,” the man says before standing up and shrugging on a jacket. He lifts the glass to his lips and takes a gulp, emptying it of whatever was in there. Daddy takes him to the door, which I can see from where I am. Suddenly, Dad glances over his shoulder as if he can see me, causing me to stumble backward, falling onto my butt.

I scurry back to my bed, shoving myself under the covers and curling into a ball, praying to God that he doesn’t come to check on me. Does he know I saw them? I mumble my prayers, asking for them not to come to me. Not to make sure I’m sound asleep because I know I can’t pretend with my heart racketing in my chest, thudding in my ears.

For the first time in my life, I’m truly afraid they will kill me. When I first saw them hurt that girl, I realized something was truly wrong with my family. That was a week ago. Tonight, they have another girl here, one whose daddy left her in the care of my parents. A girl who I know will never see her daddy again.

But then again, maybe he planned it. Maybe that’s what he brought her here for. I swallow the lump of fear in my throat before I start counting.

Prayer no longer helps.

I close my eyes and focus on counting. I think of all the years I’ve been alive, fifteen. It’s the numbers that make my mind calm and help me to fall asleep.

But as much as I shove those holy words away, they’re burned in my mind. Always there. Always watching. Just like God himself.

Temptation is a weakness.

It’s been my weakness since I was fifteen. It runs through my blood and ignites my veins. At first, I thought I was broken, but I’m certainly far from it. Walking into the rectory, I smile when I find it empty.

The scent of cologne is heavy in the air, and I know he’s here. Father Dominic is someone who’s given me what I need while I’ve been locked in seclusion. I came to Our Lady of Heavenly Hope Convent when I was eighteen. I signed up to be a good girl, but since I’ve been here, I’ve been far from that.

I inherited my cravings from my mother. She was certainly an influence on me, showing me how to use my womanly wiles to tempt secrets from the men I come across. Nobody is safe from me.

And even though I spend my time in the sanctuary of the convent, the need never abates. Temptation is always there. It’s been my downfall since my first orgasm at the fingers of a man I now can’t recall.

Nuns are meant to be virgins, they’re supposed to be married to God, but I’m so broken, I can’t keep my body to myself. But I