Babyville Page 0,84

saying that if you were still living the single girl's life with no responsibilities, but Maeve, you're having a baby. Your life will never be the same again, and your priorities will have to change.”

“Viv, a child doesn't have to change things. I'm going back to work after three months and Mark and I will raise the baby together. There are childminders or nurseries while we're at work. It's not like your day. Everyone does it now. It's far more normal for mothers to work than to stay at home. My life isn't going to change as much as you think.”

Viv doesn't say anything for a while, just smooths out the tiny outfits with a “You just wait and I'll tell you I told you so” expression on her face.

“Okay,” she says finally, meaning, “We'll see.”

“Okay,” I say finally. “So don't keep asking me about Mark in the hope that we're going to get it together and live happily ever after because I'm very happy on my own and I don't want to settle down. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

I don't even sound convincing to myself.

I make Viv a cup of tea as a peace offering, because I don't want to have a row with her when I see her so rarely and love her so much.

“Show me what else you bought,” I chatter excitedly, dragging the bag over toward me as Viv's face, reluctantly, starts to brighten. “Oh! These are the smallest socks I've ever seen!”

“What about you, Mum? How's your life.” Peace is now fully restored. “I feel that these days all we talk about is me and the baby. I don't know anything about you anymore. What have you been doing? Any hot dates recently?”

“I thought grandmothers like me aren't supposed to have hot dates.” She's smiling and I know I've been forgiven.

“Don't be ridiculous. God, if I look even half as good as you when I'm your age I'll be a very happy woman. Actually”—I peer at her closely—“you are looking pretty fantastic. Have you done something?”

“Something like what?” Now she looks coy.

“Viv, you haven't had plastic surgery or anything like that?”

“Maeve! Don't be ridiculous! Where would I find the money for something like that? Not that I wouldn't mind having some of that collagen in my crow's-feet.”

“Crow's-feet? There's barely anything there. Anyway, they give your face character. And as for money, who knows, maybe you've got some wealthy sugar daddy.” I nudge her and she laughs. And blushes.

“Viv?” I'm shocked, because clearly there is something she's not telling me, and that's so unlike Viv, and I'm shocked because I suddenly realize how self-obsessed I have become since being pregnant. I haven't asked Viv anything about herself. Nothing.

But I can make amends now.

“Viv? Tell me why you're blushing.”

She sighs. And smiles. “Actually, I have been seeing someone lovely.”

“That's great!” I hug her. “No wonder you're looking so fantastic. It must be all the sex. So come on, who is he?”

“That's the problem,” she says, looking up at me, her face now serious. “I'm not quite sure how to tell you this so I'll just come out with it.” She takes a deep breath. “It's your father.”

I don't say anything. I can't say anything. My mouth falls open and I just sit there feeling as if I've been winded. Does that sound over-the-top? Well, I'm sorry, but I feel as if I have just been hit with a large sledgehammer.

“Maeve? Say something. Please.” My mother is pleading.

I start to shake my head.

“How can? How? Why . . .?” I don't know what else to say, I only know that my world feels as if it has been turned upside down. Not because my father is a bad person. Not because my father is completely incompatible with my mother. Not because I don't understand why they've got back together after all these years apart.

But because I don't actually know who he is.

Well, I know who he is in that I'd probably recognize him if I passed him on the street, because I used to study photographs of him for hours, trying to etch his face onto my heart.

I know his handwriting from the birthday cards and checks he'd send on my birthday. I'd probably even recognize his voice from the rare occasions when he used to phone.

But that was years ago. I haven't heard from him for nearly ten years. It just became too much of an effort. I kept trying to have a relationship, and he never seemed to be available.