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suitable prey. Julia and Mark sit back down and smile at one another.

“I'm having a good time,” Julia says, managing to keep the surprise out of her voice.

“I know.” Mark touches the end of her nose, an affectionate gesture he hasn't made for many, many months. “So am I.”

It is near the end of the evening, and only the hard core remain. Lorna has spent almost the entire time glued to her seat at Top Table, clearly terrified that the moment she leaves her throne she will stop being queen for the day, but now she is able to let her hair down, and she and Adam are intertwined on the dance floor, both gazing into one another's eyes as they sway gently, softly talking and kissing, laughing at the fact they are now man and wife.

Most of the elderly relatives have gone, and a few people stop, on the way out, to turn and watch Adam and Lorna, remembering their own wedding days, thinking how very long ago it all feels now.

As the people file out, the room starts to look frayed round the edges. Several flower arrangements have already disappeared, guests managing somehow to whisk them home unseen, and crisp white damask tablecloths are now shown up as grubby and slightly gray.

Chris and Sam went home hours ago. Sam ran out of Gaviscon, and after three pints of milk and a vanilla yogurt that one of the waiters was kind enough to run out and buy for her, she realized that this was one fight she was not going to win. They left, Sam easing herself up from the chair with trouble, one hand supporting the small of her back as she groaned with effort.

Julia watched her with love. And envy. Bella, now sitting next to her, looks at Julia's face and takes her hand.

“It must be tough for you,” she says.

“You can't even imagine.” Julia forces a smile, followed by a sigh. “I would give anything, anything, to be in Sam's place right now. I love her, and I'm thrilled for her, but I can't even think that there is a living breathing baby inside her. I can't believe that I haven't got one too.” Tears fill her eyes as she finishes this, and a huge sob, fueled by champagne, hangs in the air as Julia runs out of the room, engulfed by disappointment and loss.

Mark stands up to follow her, but the look on his face is one of weariness, and Bella shakes her head and says that she will go; that it's okay; that Julia will be fine. Mark sits back down, grateful for not having to deal with this display of emotion, for not having to deal with the blame, because of course he knows that Julia blames him.

All Mark wants is to be happy. If Julia wants to have a baby, if it will make her happy, Mark wants it too. If Julia wants to see a fertility expert, Mark wants it too. If Julia wants to not have children for the rest of their lives, that will also be fine.

The problem is that Mark has never sat down and thought about what he wants. Perhaps it's time he did.

5

Work hasn't been going too well for Julia recently. She spends more and more time lost in a daydream; her researchers have to fight to get her attention, force her to make a decision.

On Monday her phone rings on her desk, disturbing her latest reverie.

“Julia? Mike here.” Mike Jones. Director of Programming. Her mentor.

“Hi, Mike. Everything okay?”

“Julia, I'd like you to come and see me. Have you got a moment now?” In the old days this would have set her pulse racing: Perhaps she was being given an exciting new project. In the very old days, when she was young and inexperienced, and not part of the furniture here, her pulse would have been racing for fear of being sacked.

Today her pulse doesn't even bother to speed up.

She stands up wearily and scrapes her hair back as Johnny, her protégé and right-hand man, looks at her sadly, wondering what happened to the bright, vibrant woman who had employed him and steered him from runner to producer. They used to laugh all the time, she and Johnny, but she is too distracted these days to even crack a smile. He knows about the baby stuff. God, who doesn't. But he doesn't understand why she's letting it get to her so much.

Sometimes he thinks he should