Babyville Page 0,111

I thought you might have changed your mind now you've had him.”

“What? Suddenly decide I can't be bothered to bring up my own child and hire a nanny?”

“No, I didn't mean that. I thought maybe you'd consider having some help, maybe someone who can look after him a couple of days a week, just to give you a break. You could go out for lunch with friends. Have a massage. Go shopping. Whatever you want. Simply get away from it all for a while, recharge your batteries, make yourself feel like a human being again. You're the one always accusing me of being able to get away from it. You always say you're the one who feels trapped, but it doesn't have to be like that, Sam. You don't have to spend every minute of every day with George.”

Chris takes a deep breath and continues. “And before you say anything, most of the women you know have their mothers around to help them. I'm not about to start criticizing your mother, but she's not exactly the most maternal of women, and although you've tried to hide it I know how devastated you are by her lack of interest. The fact is she's too caught up in her own life, and too selfish, to be of any real help with George. So you can't compare yourself to other women because you haven't got any help at all.

“All I'm saying is that you don't have to feel guilty about not doing everything yourself. George isn't going to suffer, and he isn't going to grow up like you and resent his mother for being completely disinterested in his life, because you're not.”

He speaks slowly, impressing the point. “You are not your mother, Sam. You never have been. If you had been anything like her I would never have fallen in love with you in the first place.” This manages to raise a small smile on Sam's face. “The point is, it's okay to admit you can't do it all yourself. It's okay to show some vulnerability and ask for help. And Sam, you need some time off. For you, for me and for us. For our marriage.”

Chris tails off, shocked at the amount he's just said, more shocked at the calmness with which he managed to deliver it. Sam too is shocked, and if she's honest, the thought of handing George over for a couple of days a week sounds like bliss. In fact Sam has never been more tempted by anything in her life.

But she has made a commitment to George. And, more importantly, she has made a commitment to herself. She is going to be the best mother in the whole wide world. And the one thing she is absolutely sure of is that the best mother in the whole wide world would never farm her children out.

Not even for two days a week.

24

“I bought the most divine sleepsuit for my darling grandson.” Patricia glides through the door, leaving a trail of Opium in her wake. “Where is my little angel?”

Sam smiles as she hands George over to her mother, who covers his face with tiny little kisses that make him laugh. This is a side of her mother she hasn't seen, and it fills her with warmth, and hope, when she sees it now. Perhaps they are wrong. Perhaps being a bad mother does not necessarily mean you will be a bad grandmother. Perhaps Patricia will come through after all.

“So what are you planning to do today?” Sam smiles, running her fingers through her hair as she turns, sensing her mother's disapproving looks, for her mother is of the old school: the school that believes you should always look your best, just in case.

“Actually, Sam, I don't think I can have him for the day.” Sam's face falls, and Chris catches her eyes with an “I told you so” look.

“But you said you would take him out for the day.”

“I know, darling, but I'm so incredibly busy, and things have changed now. Of course I'll take him for an hour or so this morning, but there's a bridge game this afternoon and someone dropped out, and I said I'd make up the four. Don't give me that look, Sam, I have a life too.”

Sam grinds her teeth. “And your life is so much more important than your grandson, isn't it?”

“Don't start. I'm helping out as much as I can. Your father and I can't be expected to stop everything for