Baby Daddies - Tara Brown Page 0,23
end. Snorting and fighting her sobs.
“What?” Her words are a kick in the dick. “Why? If you’re this upset about doing it, why are you going?” I step into her, lifting her puffy face. “You don’t want this. You want to stay with me. Is it money?”
“Lori—”
“Yeah, I know what you’re about to say. We’ve known each other for a hot minute, and we skipped all the important parts, but I don’t care. I didn’t need months spent talking about my top-ten list of goals for the next five years to know how I feel about you. That took two days.” My heart is in my throat.
“You don’t understand.”
“No, you don’t.” My brain is screaming for me to hold up but my mouth keeps moving, “I’m crazy about you.”
I pause, trying to catch my breath and calm down.
“The idea of you being gone makes my chest hurt like it’s collapsing in on itself.” I’m trying to hold back from scaring her with too much but the idea of losing her to the West Coast is killing me. “And if this is about money or a job or where you live, then come stay with me. You can have the second bedroom. It’s over by the gym, in the west wing, and we can pretend we’re not living together. We can have breakfast dates on the veranda, and I’ll try not to stare at you in the morning without your eyebrows on yet.” I’m trying to make her laugh.
“Please don’t,” she pleads but a weak chuckle escapes.
“Don’t what? Convince you that this is real. What we have is important. More important than money. I’ve never felt this way before about anyone.”
“I have to go.” She doesn’t sound certain.
I lose it. “Why are you doing this? I know you feel the same way about me. You quit your job to be with me; why would you take one so far away?” My heart is in my throat. I’m not prepared for this fight. “Whatever this is, I’ll fix it.” I hug her but I feel the disconnect. She’s made up her mind and I don’t know what to do. “Let me in.” I’m begging.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispers.
“Can you just come to my place tonight and we’ll talk, and I’ll help you with this decision.” I cringe. “Not that you can’t make decisions, because I know you can. I just think if you’re this upset, maybe a second opinion would help,” my voice cracks with my heart.
“No, I have to pack. I’m flying to Vancouver tomorrow—”
“Wait, tomorrow? You’re not coming to the wedding?” I pull her back to see her face.
Her eyes flicker to mine and shift. She won’t keep my gaze. She’s shutting me out, and I start to question if this is my fault somehow.
“Did I do something?”
“No.” She looks back to me and I believe her. “You’re so—I wish things were different.”
“Is there something you’re not telling me? Whatever it is I’ll help you.” I’m pleading with her to let me in, but she’s walled off.
“No. I just need to take this job. I need the money—”
“I have money. Let me help, please.”
“You can’t solve everything with money, Lori!” she shouts.
“Yes, I can!” I shout back. We pause for a second, staring. I cling to humor to try to win this. “That money doesn’t solve everything is something poor people say.” I smile, forcing her to keep my stare.
“I’m sorry.” She doesn’t waver. “But I have to get back to packing,” her voice breaks but she doesn’t budge.
“No.” I say it and realize how crazy it sounds.
“Please,” she presses.
I want to fight and force her to talk to me but it’s obvious that won’t work. She’s so stubborn, the harder I pry the tighter she gets.
Defeated and confused, I nod once. A thousand thoughts fly through my head as I kiss her forehead, smelling the sweet cherries one last time. I wish I could bottle her smell. I don’t have enough to last me.
Grace’s and Cap’s words flit through my mind and I decide to take a chance. I whisper, “This is a mistake. We’re supposed to be together. I feel it. And I think you do too. You have my heart, Jenny.”
She tenses but says nothing.
The silence is a crushing blow.
It takes every ounce of strength in me to walk out without turning back and begging her. I close the door and pause, unsure how to fix this.
It’s the strangest feeling.
For the first time, I’m scared of losing