Baby for the Billionaire - By Maxine Sullivan Page 0,83
it to make sure you were a safe and trustworthy person to have around Isabella.”
She seemed to breathe a little easier. “Yes, of course. Since we’re now married, I assume I checked out?”
“With that one exception.” He still couldn’t get a read on her and it puzzled him. “Did you want to talk about it?”
She shrugged and wandered across the room to the bow window that overlooked the courtyard where they’d been married. Her gown rustled in the silence of the room. She perched on the edge of the window seat, her skirts settling around her in a graceful arc. Moonlight cascaded through the beveled panes and bathed her in silver, while leaving her expression in shadow.
“There’s not much to tell. I got drunk.”
“It happens to most of us at one point or another. That’s when we learn there’s a reason for our current drinking laws.” He approached her the way he would a wounded animal, slowly and with utmost caution. “Is there more to it than that?”
She sat without moving and simply stared at him. “To be honest, I don’t remember a lot about that night.”
A hideous suspicion took hold. “Did someone take advantage of you?” he asked sharply. “Were you drugged?”
“Not exactly. At least, I don’t think so,” she whispered. “But I did lose my virginity.”
Fury consumed him. “You were taken advantage of. What sort of bastard—”
She stopped him with a quick shake of her head. “He was no more capable of making rational decisions than I was. Trust me, he paid a steep price for it.”
“I gather your father found out?” Jack guessed.
“And his. It … wasn’t pretty.”
“I can imagine.” It explained so much about her, especially her need to keep herself under such tight control. He closed the remaining distance between them and sat beside her, taking her hand in his. Her fingers were like ice. “Why are you telling me all this, Annalise?”
“Because you should know that I haven’t had any alcohol since that night.” She lifted her chin and met his gaze with a directness that sliced straight through to his soul. “And I haven’t been with anyone sexually since then, either.”
The air burned in his lungs and he slowly exhaled.
“Never?”
“No.”
“Because of one youthful mistake?”
She hesitated, as though considering the matter. “It didn’t seem … wise. Plus, I’ve never really been tempted.” Her eyes burned in the darkness. “Until now.”
He stilled. He hadn’t realized until that moment how desperately he wanted her. But he couldn’t take her. Not after what she’d told him. He’d been so cold for so long, had looked forward to warming himself in the fiery heat of Annalise’s desire. But he couldn’t take advantage of her like that callous boy from her youth. He wouldn’t.
He fought for control, fought for the cool, calm deliberation that had once come with such ease. “Annalise—”
“You’re going to send me away, aren’t you?”
“What?” He shook his head. “No, not away. Just to the room next door.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.”
He froze at her words. A stinging slap couldn’t have made a harsher impact.
“Earlier today I was positive that was what I wanted,” she went on. “But I realize now that was just fear speaking.”
“Fear?”
“Last time I was sixteen,” she explained. “I don’t even remember the act itself. Now, the pain? That I recall. The embarrassment when it was over is a particularly vivid memory, not to mention the humiliation when the whispers started during the weeks and months afterward.”
He regarded her with compassion. “I’m so sorry.”
She shrugged. “I’m not sixteen anymore, Jack. My fear isn’t logical. It’s more of a wispy memory than a rational emotion.” Her mouth curved into a smile full of feminine mystery and wry humor. “Don’t you think it’s past time I changed all that?”
“Are you certain?”
“I’m positive.” She shifted to face him. “Please, Jack. Help me replace those other memories with new ones. Better ones. Special ones.”
A short, harsh laugh was torn from him. “But no pressure, right?”
“I’m fairly certain most of the pressure is on me.” She disengaged her hand from his and slid her fingers along his arm to his neck. She tugged gently. “Like this, for instance.”
He bent closer and allowed her to take charge of the kiss. Her mouth slid across his as light as a whisper. She moved in again, a slow, thorough exploration. Then she slipped inward, giving him a taste of such sweetness that it proved headier than the most potent drink. She eased backward, breaking the contact.