The B Girls - By Cari Cole Page 0,4

you didn't drown," Mae said.

Jane picked up the shirt Lucy had shed on her trek to the tub and wrinkled her nose. "What's that smell?"

Lucy sniffed. "Gunpowder."

"What!" Mae said.

"Is there a dead body in the house?" Jane asked.

"No," Lucy said. "Just some dead fish."

"Then the story can wait." Jane disappeared into Lucy's walk-in closet/dressing room and returned with a pair of sweat pants and a tee shirt. "Put these on. Then we can decide what to do next."

Woe Is Us

"Tell us all the gory details," Jane said as she sipped her Diet Coke, tapping the shank of her sapphire ring on the rim of her glass.

Lucy sipped at the glass of water Jane insisted would help fend off a hangover at least until they decided whether more drinking was in order. "Gary packed a bag while I was cooking jambalaya. He came into the kitchen and announced he'd been unhappy for some time and now that Ryan was gone he saw no reason to stay." She cast a pointed glance at Jane's tapping finger.

Jane put the glass on the table. "The bastard. I hope you let him have it."

Lucy mustered a smile. "I shot his fish off the wall."

Mae gasped and goggled at her. "His tournament bass?"

"And that ugly ass marlin."

"Chip would come unhinged if anything happened to all those stuffed and lacquered things he has in the basement," Mae said with a little shiver.

"Gary was more than a little upset. But he thought better of trying to stop me when I threatened to shoot his dick off."

Jane laughed, delighted. "Damn you've got style."

"Unfortunately, I have a feeling he's going to make me pay when it comes time to negotiate a settlement."

Jane tapped the rim of her glass a few more times and said, "Fuck him. He's the one losing out."

Mae raised her glass in agreement. "Fuck him."

Lucy choked on her water.

Jane stared with her jaw hanging open for several seconds before she found her voice. "I've never heard so much as a 'damn' come out of your mouth before. What gives?" she said.

Still struggling to catch her breath, Lucy nodded her encouragement for Mae to answer.

"What gives? Me. To my family. I've turned them all into a bunch of spoiled brats--and that includes my husband. Do you know, they actually thought I must be physically ill because I didn't clean up the mess they left in the kitchen this morning?"

"And saying fuck relates to this how?" Lucy asked.

"I've decided to try new things. Like using bad language and not cleaning up after them all the time. I'm thinking about getting a job or something." She reached for her purse and started digging for the pack of cigarettes she'd retrieved from her stash before leaving the house. "And I'm going outside to smoke."

Jane and Lucy stared after Mae in open-mouthed shock for several seconds before jumping up to follow her out of the sunroom to the patio.

Mae saying she was going to get a job was like Hillary Clinton announcing she was going to become a Republican. Mae announcing she was going to smoke--well there wasn't anything to compare it to. Mae was all about taking care of her family and presenting an image of wholesome perfection to the world.

Outside, Jane laughed, dropped into a cushioned patio chair, and signaled for Mae to pass her the pack. "You're talking about getting a job and I might be unemployed on Monday."

"What?" Was there some sort of insanity virus going around? "I thought you were going to be realtor of the month." Lucy sat down and watched her two best friends light up and puff away, feeling like she'd gone down the rabbit hole.

"That was before I told my client to make a deal with his trophy wife about how many blow jobs it would take for her to get the house she wanted." Jane coughed as she blew out a thin stream of smoke.

"Oh my God. You didn't?" Mae pulled smoke deep into her lungs with more finesse and no coughing.

Jane drank from the glass she still held and nodded. "I did. And you know what? I don't feel bad about it. I know I should feel bad. I know it wasn't nice. But I've just reached the limit on my bullshit meter."

"That's just how I feel," Mae said.

"Well, I didn't choose rebellion. I had it forced on me by my rat bastard soon to be ex-husband," Lucy said.

She threw back the last of her water, wishing for the box of