He was the older, more experienced one here. He needed to be strong and do what was right for Grace. But when he thought about leaving her, he didn’t feel strong at all. He felt like a bowl of quivering Jell-O.
Grace cleared her throat. “Wyatt, I—I wanted to thank you for everything you said yesterday.”
“I meant every word.”
“I know you did—that’s why it meant so much to me.”
“I called my dad last night, told him everything. He was relieved I’ll finally be able to put all this behind me. I’ve tried to shield him from what I’ve been going through—it was a dark time in his life too. I think he’s been more worried about me than he’s let on.”
“I’m happy for you. You deserve to have closure.”
“So do you, Grace.” It might take time, but he hoped eventually she would fully embrace that.
She gave him a wan smile. “I’m just starting to believe that.”
“Do you realize we’ve both been dealing with the same thing for years? We both have survivor’s guilt.”
“We’ve dealt with it in different ways though.”
“I made a career out of helping people.”
“And I’ve been trying to justify my place in the world.”
“And even though we’re both Lone Rangers, it took us coming together to arrive at a place of healing.”
Their eyes connected, a moment of silence passing between them, the weight of this discovery needing no words of explanation.
Grace looked down at her half-eaten muffin, then back up at him. “So . . . you found what you were looking for. I guess you’ll be leaving soon.”
He studied her eyes, noting the way the corners drooped in sadness. The way she rubbed her lips together.
“I have to get back to work Monday. I was a bit of a mess when I left, and unfortunately I have a psychological evaluation to pass before I can return to work.”
Grace’s brows hitched. “Are you worried about that?”
“Not anymore. The good news is I’ll be getting promoted soon—to presidential detail.” His face split into a grin. “I was reluctant to say that out loud until now.”
“Wyatt—that’s amazing. Your dream job.”
“It’s been a long, hard road. I’ll need a couple days to sort things out at home before Monday. I’ve been gone awhile.”
“Of course.”
“I wanted to make sure you were going to be all right before I left.”
She blinked. “Oh. Yeah, I’ll be fine. Don’t let me keep you.”
Didn’t she know? If anything at all could keep him, it was her. She deserved more than talking around the important topic of their relationship. He wanted to be up front about it.
He gathered his courage and squeezed her hand. “Grace, I wish I could stay. I wish . . .” He clenched his jaws together, keeping the words in. He wished he could tell her he loved her. Because he did. She’d become a part of him so quickly. So easily.
But telling her that seemed cruel when he was about to leave.
“I wish things were different,” he said.
“It’s okay, Wyatt. You have an important job, and I know it means a lot to you.”
“And I could never ask you to give up your dreams. Your business is important to you, and you’re going to do great. You’re going to have the best outfitters business in the Blue Ridge Mountains, I have no doubt.”
The smile she gave him seemed hard fought. “I hope so.”
“Better believe it.” He let his gaze rove over her face, memorizing the shape of her eyes, the gentle taper of her nose, the sweet curve of her lips. He only wished he could bottle up this feeling he had when he was with her. “This is going to be hard, parting ways. You’ve become someone I can confide in, someone I can trust.”
“I feel the same. It happened so quickly.”
“I keep telling myself we could keep up a long-distance relationship. I could come see you when I’m at the field office, weekends. But I travel so much, Grace. Communication is difficult when I’m on assignment, and there would be no end in sight. That’s no life for you. You deserve so much better.”
His job had never cost him so much; it was costing him the woman he loved. For a moment he was tempted to throw it all away—his training, his hard work, his promotion—and just tell her he was staying. He could be happy here in Bluebell with Grace. His heart pounded at the thought, and his chest tightened.
But protecting people was his way of life. His calling.